I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

@outlander I 100% agree with @Former-Member - you seem to be quite distressed and need help atm which is beyond the support we can provide for you here. Please consider Lifeline or KHL as an option for you right now as we don't want you to be suffering in such a way as it seems you are and only want you to get the right support to help you get through this.

Zoe

@outlander I am going to be very blunt here with you so I apologise in advance!

You are in no position in this state to make ANY decisions. You may see medication as counter productive but the meds you are on may not be the right ones for you (I can say this from first hand experience and trying many different meds over the last year - and we still haven't found the right balance).

No-one wants to be going through what you are - and no-one should have to - we understand how hard life can be but we also know that when it gets to such a critical point we all need help to get through it. That is the stage I see you at now - you need help getting through this.

You have tried doing everything on your own but that hasn't worked - so now it is time for you to seriously weigh up what your options are moving forward - that is with therapy, meds, family etc. basically looking at your life as a whole and then breakng it down into it's various parts and finding some kind of balance that can work for YOU - not your family, not your sisters, and not even your Pop (as hard as that is to think about). You need to put yourself first because you are in no position to care for anyone if you cannot care for yourself first.

I do not say any of this lightly as I know the 'promises' you have made and how important your family is to you (even your mother who does not treat you well at all) but something has to give and unless you find the right help and support - that is going to be you - and no-one wants to see that happen.

We do really care about you here @outlander and we will continue to support you but it is critical for you to now seek help/support IRL too - there is only so much we can do with actual words

@Zoe7 I literally dont have a response because I know your right. Im scared this will never change Zoe. Im scared of this. I dont know what else to do.

ive gone through 4 medications and combos and so many therapists and i just cant see it helping me at all.

ok... ill go connect with a helpline of somesort. if they tell me to use my coping strategies again.. well who knows

If they tell you to use your coping strategies @outlander then call your GP and/or therapist.

I have been through more med changes in last year than I can count. At one stage I was taking 17 meds a day (which included supplements and meds to help with the side effects of other meds!) It is frustrating but I have always followed ALL directions I have been given by my GP, psychologist and psychiatrist. Sometimes we actually need to trust (even when we don't want to) that the 'professionals' have our best interests in mind and are working to help us 'get better'. It is also imperative for these relationships to work that we are totally honest with them - that is the only way that they can help us find the right balance of meds, therapy, etc.

Take care @outlander❤❤

Please go to the appointment @outlander I want you to be safe