I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

@outlander

showing signs of dimentia might not get worse for years , depending on the degree on what he has now ,

what does your pop do during the day

@outlander

@Sans911has summed it up perfectly about pushing people away.

In terms of your Pop - I know you said that you told your Nan you would look after your Pop no matter what, sometimes the only way to look after him properly is to let others help also. Whether that be repsite, nurses, hospital, etc.

We had to do the same thing with my father and it is hard, but to help them you sometimes have to accept that help yourself.

@Former-Member

I dont mean to. I just feel terrible. I went on chat and they told me to just keep doing self care tonight.

Thanks @Shaz51

it depends on the day as he has 2 social events in the week, he goes to his friends house at lunch time and his friends come here too, not all at once but theres someone here at least everyday.

I just worry so much about him. i jsut want to do whats right.

@Sans911

I can see your point, I dont mean to push people away but as you said I just dont want to burden others. I hate it when im not ok and I was going ok and its just crashed. I tried so hard to keep it going well and tried catchingt hings early and managing the best I could and I still crashed.

@Zoe7

yes its all heightened because it brings up the grief I have for my nan, and the concerns I have for him and upcoming tests and tomorrow I dont even want to go to because I asked my mum to make it small and now theres over 30 people coming and thats all I know about. I didnt even know we had that many people in the family because we really only speak to about 5 of them.

I just want to be a good carer and I feel like im failing at it.

@Former-Member

ill try and take it one step at a time. I know this detoriation might take yrs but im so worried. I just want to to the best thing and I feel like if I give up then its failing both him and my nan. I just dont want to burden everyone else. Im trying so hard to keep on keeping on but its just so damn hard

and tomorrow i have to put on the everythings fine mask. its so hard 😞

OK Sis @outlander,

lets forget tonight about the things you can't change because you need to try and do what the helpline said and show yourself a bit of self care. So what can you do tonight?

I had to think about that before and do it myself. So I have made myself a nice coffee, am watching a home renovating show on tv (I love them) and participating in the Friday Feast. That is my self care for now.

So now your turn.......

a nice shower @outlander and a nice cuppa will be a start xx