Night Shift

Thanks, @Former-Member. My posts to you were too intense and off-the-mark last night. I was disturbed in my feelings after our exchange and worried I'd left you feeling the same. Yesterday was a strange day, with split emotions, though I couldn't say it at the time. My birthday, and I found out the daughter of a one-time friend had passed away under 'mysterious' circumstances. I'm not close enough to this friend now to find out how for sure, but I suspect I already know. I've seen this young woman grow from a child to an adult. She was a lovely person. I've had quite a number of people in my life go this way. It's why I live for those I love, as well as for anybody at all who might care if I am here or not, whether I know it or not. These things affect so many more people than we can know. Anyway, it's what put me in an 'off kilter', overly-intense mood last night. ox

Thanks @Decadian. I think I'm doing pretty well after the tooth surgery and I really appreciate your gentle kindness to make that even better. 🙂

Sorry all, I'm really too intense still to be on the forum at the moment. Going back to bed for a while. Good things happening this week to get me out of my self. I'll probably be back in a sunnier frame of mind after I get some more sleep and get out of the flat later today. Hope everyone's day goes well.

Hi @Mazarita

Sounds like yesterday was a tough day for you, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend's daughter. What an amazing way you have responded to such losses, in living for those you love and all those who care about you, whether you know it or not - there are certainly a lot of us here!

Sending best wishes for your birthday!

Shimmer

It's funny @Mazarita I didn't read anything different in your posts. We analyse our own actions so much more than anyone else does. My whole life I've done this and my best friends have told me off for when I've apologised at something they didn't even read the way I did or taken offence to but I think this part is with me for the long haul.
I'm really sorry to hear about the passing of your friends daughter and that you've had much loss in your life. I read your poem and wasn't sure how to respond. I think it's really admirable that you live for the ones you love and that you care about those who could be effected. I guess I'm working towards that but am still a bit selfish in that sometimes that all seems too painful and hard but I'm still here and I guess in reality still likely to be for a while yet especially now that I'm receiving professional help again. Be gentle with yourself today. Sending hugs😊💜💐

@Mazarita

Leaving a big hug for you here for when you come back on .... feeling for your loss. I am so glad it helps to focus you back into reasons to live and a awareness of how much we are connected with everyone who knows us ....

💜💐 💜💐

Hi Everyone

I have got my Monday morning battle with getting D3 off to school. She was texting me through the night, but I have taken to turning my phone to silent because she doesn't need to be disturbing me, and I need as much decent sleep as I can get to be able to manage our situation ....

She has promised to get herself to school everyday, and asked the counsellor to be babied through this last term, coaxed to put one foot after another through her assignments, so she gets to graduation and can finish with school, but still be able to stay connected to her graduating class on that level.

While it's not the only influence, what is happening with WH is not her fault, and it is driving her sense of being constantly unwell.

I have to work out with the counsellor whether to postpone the psychologist visits for D3 for now, because it made things much worse last week, so we might have to prioritise getting through the term over seeking treatment.

Graduation itself is likely to be the best treatment.

It's going to be a long term ...

Hi @Former-Member

If I remember correctly this is Monday - I am glad you asked how I am - there is nothing specifically wrong - I am fed up with winter I guess

The cold in Canberra did not affect me the way it does in Melbourne - I had no desire to go out into that cold wind and walk around and feel colder - though with my new shoes I feel as if I want to walk

There is nothing specifically wrong - but I think my cat will soon start being aggravating - and this is a sign she is bored with winter - and I think I feel the same way

I live in Melbourne - and we say - "If you don't like the weather then wait for a while and it will soon be different" and this is true - one day last week - when I was giddy with stuffy sinuses - I was wearing trakkies and a t-shirt and felt fine weather wise - but this cold wind with rain at times is giving me the screaming willies -

Today - yes - I am sure we have got to Monday - I have a young woman coming for whatever I want her to do - I think the right word is "respite" though I don't really qualify for it - I hope she is coming because she is the right person for today - she will sit in the other chair and eat her apple and I can eat all my mandarins and we can chat and I will feel better

You know my voice sounds really loud when I speak to the cat - strange - and I did go up to the shops yesterday - my larder was a bit thin-on - but the guy in the shop was watching the football and I had an epiphany - my life is not so bad I have to watch SPORT - there are other things in the world - and the never ending BIKE RACE is finished - I think

Sorry @Former-Member - you asked me how I am and I gave written a dissertation of how I feel in winter in Melbourne - but

I am glad I enjoyed my short life in Canberra - and the days are getting longer - gradually - and the winter is moving along as it always does and my sinuses seem to have cleared and my dd is away in Northern Queensland having a holiday that will be over too soon I am sure - my computer needs replacing but it is still managing to do most of what I say - maybe I will get something done about a new one this week - and there are signs of spring

You know - I like the first part of my essay on how I am better than the last sentence

Thanks for asking though @Former-Member - I was going to write my dissatisfaction on my own thread - but now I have written it here - maybe this is better -

Decadian

I read over my post - it's honest - and I do hate trying to be cheerful when I am not - I can but it's not all that honest

Dec

Hi @Former-Member 😏

I'm glad you did come on ....

I know it's a long way, but sometimes I wish I had a long way to drive back after dropping D3 at school. I find it relaxing, particularly in beautiful country surroundings .... hmmmm .... I might have to find a picturesque long route back from the school ..... 🌷

Yes, my Dad is still here, and making his way around in short bursts without the crutches, so I am much less concerned about leaving him to his own devices. It's actually aiding my independence from the house now, because I have an extra "babysitter" for D2 under the roof now.

Must dash and get this baby dragon where she needs to be .... will need to fortify myself for this ....

Hi @Mazarita

I have had enough dental work done to know what a kick-back it has - I hope you are recoving from that

About the other stuff - the "mysterious circumstances" - I guess we can guess - that must be hell for you

You must feel terrible - I hope going back to bed and getting some sleep with happen - and that you can find your way into the light - which can be damned hard at times

Most of the time sleep does sort out the crumples - I think maybe you would rather not find out more about what happened - it must be hard - I will be thinking of you

Decadian