Night Shift

Hi @eth,

Im free for a while too to say hello😊

Hi @Former-Member just another one of the many quiet days at home I've had lately. Did you have a quiet or busy day?

Hello @Former-Member

thank you for your message

I have been thinking of you today , sending you hugs

Hi @eth and @Former-Member

I think I am just tired, I hope. For me it feels like Russian roulette going to trauma counselling. Nobody ever said it would be easy. I even briefly thought about going to hospital today, but like I said, it was a long day yesterday and I am exhausted, so I hope it is just that. I also had a couple of days with max daily dose of "as needed meds", so I think I am going through withdrawal. I'll see how I go, but I always try to keep the "as needed" meds low.

@eth I don't think I have let all my guards down with my counsellor, but I am on a good path. I think I better pack my bag before I forget. I take my teddy to therapy, just in case. I have lost all dignity when it comes to seeing my therapist.

@eth I've had fairly busy day by my standards. My son and girlfriend bought all the wood to build the frame/batons for the walls to be gyprocked in the outside room (read converted garage) they will be moving into. They move in Friday and as the room is not done they will be moving into my lounge😬. But it's ok really I think. I am anxious about it as there is a whole new relationship to develop and I have been so unwell but I'm trying so hard to take it each day at a time. The secret squirrel business I was talking about last night is the same relationship that so many have struggled with on here, mine with my mother. I don't really want to air that here but suffice to say it causes great anxiety and insecurity sometimes. I am also working through with my therapist on this one, much of it is me having to learn to be my own person in this relationship.

Have you got anything much planned coming up you are looking forward to?

Hey @Former-Member I think we all feel like we lose so much dignity when it comes to therapy. I hear you with that one😌

@Former-Member It sounds like just resting as much as possible tonight might be good. I love the idea of taking your teddy 🙂

@Former-Member What a challenging time you are having lately. A lot to adjust to. Hopefully you will find some joy in having extra family in the house. And the building phase goes smoothly. Do you feel you are making progress with your therapist?

I don't have much planned the next 2 weeks but August is the Darwin Festival so I'll be going to at least a few events with a couple of friends then. And seeing my psychologist on this Tuesday eve.

hi @Former-Member

i love that you're taking your teddy to therapy, i dont think thats a loss of digjnity, but you knowing what will help you and make you feel safe. but i do understand the feeling of feeling completely vulnerable and exposed...

im not having a great day, really struggling with everything thats going on. not feeling like i can cope, theres just thing after thing after thing going on that just stresses me out so badly and makes me fall apart and im so tired of myself!

lj

It's always so hard with me making progress @eth. I know this one is th best chance I have of moving forward. When I lost the plot this week I was so scared of going backwards but she was able to remind me of the forward steps. More than anything I think I just need time for me without so many big changes constantly happening because I'm really not coping with them all😔. There has been so many stressful things happening that I'm the one who is supposed to have it all together to sort out and that is just not the case right now. Sorry I'm whinging. Today I've found enough brain space to connect some of the dots to my latest series of collapses. Last week has probably been one of the lowest in my life so I'm hoping up is the only way from here. I really was so unwell but kept playing mind games with myself to pick up but just kept diving further down. Enough about me😁

I haven't heard about the Darwin festival but sounds like it would be good. Is it like a multicultural festival? I really hope your appointment goes well on Tuesday with your psychologist too.

Hi @Former-Member sorry to hear you're struggling today - at least it's nearly over! Hopefully you'll be able to rest after the kids are in bed tonight.