Night Shift

@PeppiPatty

Your friend is not on your page - and very likely decided years ago - as you said - what you were like and what she was like

Maybe she is still on that page

I don't know anyone from 30 years ago - except for my siblings and other family - ah - no -

Don't tell anyone your story - that is good advice for anyone - we understand what people choose to say - I was here for quite a while before I opened up

You are having storms lately - this is a hard time for many - it's reallty important you put yourself first right now and only do things when you feel that you are up to it

Decadian

That's a great tatt @PeppiPatty

I want a Celtic Star on the back of my neck - but - ah - I'm too far over the hill - thinking of purple tips for Christmas though (afterthought - in my hair)

You are right - "Now is all we have" - I understand that well - there is the rest of our lives for regrets and if-onlys - we only have this minute really -

Easy to say - hard to live

I cannot imagine brain cancer - like everyone else I have seen the pics on tv - but cancer is always out there - and to have your son having cancer/brain cancer/chemo/surgery/radiation - that is totally beyond my experience

Wow -

Toxic Sister - we can share about this - mine is some years younger than me - but she's perfect - she tells me so everytime she has the chance - which isn't often

I still love her - we can't turn our feelings off - but I can't trust her - except with our parents' estate - most of which is finished with. If she wanted to behave herself I would not have a second thought of having her in my life - but one of our uncles told me that she's probably very unhappy and will die unhappy rather than ask me for help

But there are things we can do - I know that if I ever thought of pay-back - I would damage myself - so I think of something else - like - if she did ask for help - I would do what ever was possible

But there is nothing at all we can do for perfect people - they are complete - that cannot be improved upon - ahhhhhhhh no

[Dec has sad thoughts]

It's great your son survived cancer - I guess you will tell the story when you are ready

I am careful who I tell about mine

Decadian

Hey, everyone...

I just came back from camping! It's been a HUGE blast even though it's only a friend with me, instead of 4 or 8 friends, but we still had fun... 🙂
We kindled a lot of campfires and had hotdogs and s'mores for three nights and we made indian tacos our last night and that was delicious. We also played cards and Scrabble, and one night we actually finished every letter from Scrabble. Haha.

Man, we hit a lot of the green and I don't regret it at all, because that means I use up more of the green. I've decided that I won't be buying any more of the green, and only smoke it socially.

There was ONE downside to this trip.. My parents were really stressed, and they fought with each other a lot even in front of my friend and I, and one day they actually lost it and blamed everything on me when I did absolutely nothing to deserve that. Thankfully we're alright now. 🙂

How was everyone's night/day?

DEar @Decadian

How are you,

thankyou for your lovely messages. No, my friend doesn't know my whole story but she was certainly present for a lot of it and I was certainly present for a lot of hers.

I think what I was trying to express to you is something that I didnt make myself clearer when I wrote; I'lle try again and maybe that I can make it clearer:

At the turn of 50 years old, she decided to do an Art Therapy course. She and I have known each other for years , The and our friend I have known for that long. The other lady, she used to come to hospital and give me a break for a couple of hours every now and again.

When I heard she was doing this course I lent her my book by Gomez on Object Relations...not to show off that I know anymore than her but I thought she would like it. It was in pieces..hopefully when I see her again, she might have sticky taped it up for me

I usually spend ALL my time with my husband who I'm a carer for now and all I do is wish to spend a day alone but having him in my life is wonderful and worth it.

What I am trying to express, maybe not correctly; is that :

talking to people with lived experience and having someone like a Psychiatrist in your life who you trust is like gold, not to leave.

Would you agree @Appleblossom.......?

Is that it took me and Apple @Appleblossom a little while to properly trust each other didn't it Apple, that or we were both a little defensive because it was weird actually coming somewhere like Sane Forums where it is non judgemental and also, like, you felt there is a place that you can safely make steps in changing your life.

There is a wonderful person online called @chookmojo where me and her and others dealt with sibling rivalry; The thread is Dialogue with Sane Forum Formites on the lived experience Thread.

If you want to check it out ?? There are so many people online who I feel a special affinity with. One of them is you...my husband just made me a cuppa tea...I want to get my haircut now.......

Got more to write .......

PPx

DEar @Decadian

My Psychotherapist is older than you and shes getting a tattoo !!

You write about your sister. My mother works hard in getting pepole to hate me ; She does a very good job.....the one that breaks my heart is that she got my youngest brother to hate me for years but he has come around and now my middle brother.....all over using money to sway their emotions.

The best thing for me to do is live my life. My marriage has been for about 5 years, been together for 6, went to high school together, we know each other very well.

My youngest son ....I've written about on much older posts.....he is living with us right now. He is amazing. He has to manage his condition; he is trying to get his head around it. ....a loose shunt (useless) next to his brain stem. He has a hole drilled in his font and a tumour which is'nt growing right now. For 15 years, it was a different story.

Then my oldest son, we never imagain these things happen but his story on being a teenager was very hard. He lives in Queensland where he manages a MI. The good news is that he has decided to start taking medication after a few times of dealing with bouts of psychosis.

Its weird writing to you about this because right now: I am sleeping a lot. Things are difficult. I have decided to get more support to see my Psychotherapist which costs money and need to work every week to pay her fee.

Celtic star sounds like a wonderful thing to do. My two brothers both have stars tattooed on their arms......