It doesn't sound stupid at all @BlueBay. You have painted a very clear word-picture of your evening at home tonight, and I am not surprised at all that you are feeling low.
If a big hug is going to make you cry ..... how about a gentle-virtual-holding-of-hands instead ?
We are in something of the same boat, you and I, except I have more children, and my m.i.l. Is not in a nursing home ....... she is in her own home ....... but my hubby is in the grip of an eating disorder, and the mi side has taken over ..... and he is in denial and can't see what it is doing to him, and to us, who are trying to live with it ...... so he is putting his mother first in a lot of things too.
One of my sons is married, and a daughter is getting married soon, so I am faced with something if the same reality ....... my children are growing up and leaving home ...... but one if our daughters is "special needs" ..... a "forever baby" who will never grow up entirely. She will always need caring for ..... but that is different again. I have a relationship with her, of course, but she will never fly off overseas on a holiday of her own, or finish a TAFE or Uni qualifivpcation, or marry and have children of her own ......
So I feel for you and what you are going through very much ...... and hope we can be brave together as we face up to these futures of ours ...... looking for the best way forward we can. We will find it @BlueBay, but it will take some work, and trying to focus on the good things, the things that are working out well, as we go.
You see ? We are not on this journey alone ..... and there will be others as well walking the same sort of path ..... who understand how difficult and lonely it can be at times ....... but it also has its good times and it's rewards. Although she us not at home tonight, I am glad that your daughter can have a relationship with her boyfriend and move forward with him. I know some families with children not much younger than me who have not found relationships and who are living at home with elderly parents, not knowing what to do with their lives .......
We have a sense of fulfilment in watching our children grow into fine young men and women, and take their own oaths in life.
Be strong @BlueBay. Knit another scarf, and another one ...... have you knitted scarves for all your kids yet ? Have you knitted a dog-scarf fior Jersey ?
Why don't you cook your son's favourite dinners while he is away, and share them with him virtually ?
💜🌷
