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Night Shift

MazaritaSenior Contributor23 Sept 2015, 4:13 am AEST

Night Shift

Since I am awake at 4am I thought I'd start this thread for those of us who have trouble sleeping and might find it helpful to have a place to go to chat. Whatever gets you through the night is alright.

To get the ball rolling, I'll just say that I enjoyed being part of the Topic Tuesday discussion tonight. I wish it was possible for these events to be weekly rather than monthly. Either way, thanks SANE and all the people I've met on here over recent months.

Edited June 2016 and February 2017: Night Shift is now open 24 hours a day. To join in, just click through to the last page of the thread at the top right of this post to get to the latest message.

Edited April 2017 and June 2017: For the sake of better communications between members here, I am adding that this thread is meant to be a caring, kind and gentle place of sharing. Humour is welcome, as long as its not unkindly directed towards other members. Hope your time in this chat thread is rewarding.

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In response to: Night Shift

PeppiPattySenior Contributor28 Nov 2015, 3:00 am AEDT

Re: Night Shift

Not good my friend. I want to do harm to my hub. So I took the motivation from somewhere and found out where is Arafmi support group is being held and when
It's only down the street from my flat and at 12 noon Wednesday for 2 and a half hours ! Yippee

In response to: Night Shift

PeppiPattySenior Contributor28 Nov 2015, 3:11 am AEDT

Re: Night Shift

Everything is getting me frazzled.

1: he knows to give me a break but never happens. When I say I need to be alone for 2 days ....... I drive an awful lot backwards and forwards between homes and today I said ...... After driving home 3. 1/2 hours I said I can't do this ...... Let's talk to Psych team of moving us to Margaret River or move to where I live or Ille move here ...... I get complaints ........he's terrified of change and illness cannot move .because it causes huge stress to him.
It's too difficult for him to talk to Paych team ...... He has a good team around him ...... They usually don't listen to carers ...... And he's got this ...... Rigid ...... Please don't interfere because they are here to care for me
But I'm driving him everywhere .......
Then there's his mum
She hates me and I can't get her to help me but she lives around the corner from Hus. She is very aggressive for anyone to get near her 48 year old baby.
Phew

.

In response to: Re: Night Shift

AppleblossomSenior Contributor28 Nov 2015, 3:30 am AEDT

Re: Night Shift

Sorry to hear that @PeppiPatty

Maybe as he has a support system in place ... you can feel free to leave him ... he will survive ... take your 2 days a week ... dont argue, dont even try to gain his permission ... just claim your right to it ... maybe men cant help being manipulative little boys in tryin g to control their partners

If you stick to it and develop a routine ... he will probably adapt.

But I dunno really ... am hopeless with men.

In response to: Night Shift

PeppiPattySenior Contributor28 Nov 2015, 4:46 am AEDT

Re: Night Shift

YOur hopeless with men ......
Sure .... . You are one of the most .... .... Woman survivor I have met. That and my friend and neighbour who lives upstairs but she isn't managing her life well like you do.

I'm reasonably nice, Arlo is nice at least .......
Yes .....this is very very good advice. No my hub. Isn't a typical ...... He truly is ...... A fighter .....

But I need a break. I'm going to cancel any work I have and write a letter to his Psych team that I need them to support me at my decision to have 2 days off a week.
Now , let me just qualify myself. When hub. And I split for two years I wrote and took a list of questions to this psych place and blamed them 70% for our break up. It was a difficult meeting, a table of damned psychiatrists, social worker nurses administrators who replied yes well, that's all nice what you said but we only support hub. And see you.
I've heard there's changes but you know once bitten twice shy

In response to: Night Shift

PeppiPattySenior Contributor28 Nov 2015, 4:51 am AEDT

Re: Night Shift

And I will do what you say
Thank you @Appleblossom
May your piano spontaneously play you a beautiful little tune like Eric Satie or something in thanks ☘🌹🌷🐩🐕🐾🐎🐿🎄

In response to: Re: Night Shift

AppleblossomSenior Contributor28 Nov 2015, 4:24 pm AEDT

Re: Night Shift

I know a lady who has 3 grown boys ... but finds all the men a bit much and goes away every weekend for 2 nights ... to get her space. It is not that unusual. I hear that a lot of relationships are now working on a part time together level.

You have to do what you have to do. Just arrange it so that it does work and if it is difficult at first .. hold to your internal wisdom.

In response to: Re: Night Shift

AppleblossomSenior Contributor28 Nov 2015, 4:30 pm AEDT

Re: Night Shift

Well I have avoided intimate relationships for 15 years. Thanks ... for your enthusiastic responses @PeppiPatty ... yes I am a survivor. Yes I do have affection for you.

Yes there are difficulties if one person in a relationship gets lots of outside support and the other doesnt ... it makes for lack of balance ... I think some MH workers are aware of that ... but maybe it should become more clear in their protocols ... so that their involvement doesnt destabilise decent relationships.

In response to: Re: Night Shift

PeppiPattySenior Contributor28 Nov 2015, 8:53 pm AEDT

Re: Night Shift

What I dont understand @Appleblossom is that as soon as I met my hub. his mother just hated me. She goes on and on how wealthy she is but will not provide for him, even when we were seperated and now, she told him that she will not have anything to do with me.

Its hurtful and when I need a break..I cant get it. .

She also invites him to dinners to very nice places with her friends and Im not invited. Its fine but she makes a big deal with her son and he wants to go to get a nice meal and then ...tells him Im not invited.

In response to: Re: Night Shift

AppleblossomSenior Contributor28 Nov 2015, 9:26 pm AEDT

Re: Night Shift

When my brother met his wife ... her mother physically attacked him ... I dont know ... there might not be anything you can do to fix it ..... she has the resources and wants to spoil her son ... is he sensitive to you about your exclusion from that part of the family?

I feel upset about the female competition over their men ... its a BIG issue .. but its outside of my control.

I could not deny my children their overseas trips etc ... protect yourself if its not going to change ... get some life happening in your 2 or maybe it could be 3 days you have for yourself.

In response to: Re: Night Shift

MazaritaSenior Contributor30 Nov 2015, 3:27 pm AEDT

Re: Night Shift

Wondering how everyone is today...

We had a net outage for 24 hours here. I was only able to access the site on my mobile but I find it difficult to post from there so took time out from doing that. In the meantime, I had a long session of video editing. First time in many months, had lost all motivation, so really glad to be doing some creative playing with media again.

@PeppiPatty I read somewhere yesterday that you are going through a difficult time with an unwanted visit from that man that was bothering you before. So sorry that happened, no wonder you have felt anxious. I hope you get some peaceful time to yourself (also away from hubby) very soon. As much as I love my partner, when he is at home all the time it gets on my nerves. I appreciate that I get days to myself when he's at work. I like having both togetherness and closeness in a relationship, it's getting the balance that is the hard part! Remember to breathe through intense feelings at the moment if you can.

@Appleblossom I know you have been feeling vulnerable on the forum recently. I've had many years of social net use and have run into similar experiences a number of times (my first social net use was on IRC chatrooms back in the 1990s). My response has been to withdraw from contact with the person who is bothering me if we can't find a resolution to the problem in a fairly short time. If I've stayed with the problem trying vainly to get resolution it's only prolonged my preoccupation and bad feelings about it and ultimately hurt me more in the end. This is not advice, just sharing my own experiences when I've felt attacked or hurt by things people have said to me in the past (in case they're of any use to you). I appreciate your presence on the forum and value the relationship we have built up over all these months of regular posting now. What are you up to today? Knowing you a little, it's probably something creatively enrichening or grounding like gardening or cooking.

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