Night Shift

Thinking of you @Mazarita, sending lots of hugs and best wishes 💐💜

Hi @Former-Member,

How are you this morning?

Thanks so much for the callouts, I really appreciate it. I've been okay the past day or so. Just tired and focussed on making appointments in between catching up on sleep. Sleeping in only three hour bursts over a long time sometimes takes a toll. Still feeling a lot of aches and pains in my legs, feet, arms and hands too, pretty much around the clock, which seems to be feeding the tiredness. But I am getting out more, walking to and from appointments. And my shoe inserts and compression socks have turned up so with any luck things might look up a bit more. Podiatrist suggested I take it very slowly though getting back out on the beach.

On a more positive note, I have finally got the permissions to proceed with the video I mentioned a while back and have managed to do some final work on it to bring it to completion. I was able to make it publicly available just last night. That's also been taking up some of my time.

I read your posts yesterday about motherhood. Again, thanks so much for sharing so honestly. I really relate to what you said about feeling a decline in relation to motherhood. I kind of foresaw that this would happen to me if I had children, which was part of my reason for not having them, along with lack of material resources and illness-related factors. You have done so well to rise above that and still get through. I loved the post by @Faith-and-Hope about motherhood and how it's almost impossible to meet the expectations placed on us by others and ourselves. As usual there was a more inspiring perspective there from F & H too.

Do you have anything planned for today? I hope your son gets himself on the bus this morning!

@Former-Member, you are so lovely to think of us that way. I feel like giving you a big hug!

Thanks for your kindness always about my whinges about physical ailments. I think winter is making the aches and pains a bit worse too, me a bit less energetic and more inclined to be down too, even though it's relatively mild here. Regardless of how hot or cold it is, I sometimes feel like I do all my ageing in winter and really feel I come out of it a year older (my birthday is in winter too so that's literally the case in a way). I too wish I could share the videos with you. They probably mean more to me than other people really but it would be great to be able to share them here in the way many of us are able to share our writing in the other threads. The anonymity of the forum is really important though, so I guess it's just a case of c'est la vie.

I understand and admire what you say about your kids keeping you around. I relate to that with my partner, mum and friends. On a more basic level I live for anyone who would miss me if I wasn't around, whether I'm aware of it or not. A neighbour who was fairly withdrawn in the flats where we used to live suicided a few years back and it was surprising how much of the local neighbourhood learned of it and cared that he had done that. Our lives affect more people than we can know.

Sorry about your implosion after the phone call with community health. Great that you are aware of the mechanism and are able to slowly bring yourself back up from that. Awesome that you will have the net connected today. I feel lost without a desktop connection when I move home. Actually I'm amazed that anyone accessing the forum with only a mobile is able to post as much as they do. It takes me forever to type out messages on my mobile and if I take too long with them they get lost. Hope all goes smoothly with the connection happening.

Just saw your second post. It's wonderful that you still have that connection with a real life tribe. How difficult it must be though that your ex victimised some of them. The fact that they keep extending the hand of friendship says how much you must mean to them though. It doesn't surprise me. You seem to be a very wonderful woman to me.

Good morning @Former-Member @Mazarita

I am just popping my head in ahead of a very busy day, so forgive me if I'm a bit more absent in the next few days ...... my WH is back home as of last night, my Dad in town and staying close by for a few days before coming to stay with us at home, the 18th looming, etc

I am glad if some things I have said have resonated with you ...... @Former-Member what you have been through would rock any woman's self-confidence with or without mi issues in there as well ...... so glad your former tribe are keeping the door open for you ....... I think that is a statement of so many things - value, empathy, hope for you to get back up on your feet, etc ....... it's huge.

@Mazarita, you have responded often in a way that resonates with me, so if I were to respond, I would be repeating everything you have just said - often with you too @Former-Member. A 'like' seems so inadequate, but it means "yep, from me too", or "I'm hearing you ..... "

I am struggling with mi from the outside, having to understand and try to support people for whom that is a part of their inner world in a way that it is not for me ....... your wisdom, insight, preparedness to share, acceptance of what I try to offer you, makes it feel so much more do-able ..... like I'm okay in this situation, and we will manage, and we will see it through ........ it brings me a lot of joy to think that some things that you are very self-critical about, you become more relaxed about when you see that other people don't have perfection, and they struggle as well, even if it's not with the same issues. And sometimes just sharing coping strategies can inspire someone else to think around the obstacles and find a creative, or self-acceptance way forward.

Hope those aches and pains ease up for you today @Mazarita.

Hope all goes well with your school run this morning @Former-Member, and the sky is a little clearer over you today ....

Hi to anyone else who is around .....

❤️

Good morning, @Faith-and-Hope. Wow, thanks for the kind words. They mean a lot. You are such a valued presence here on the forum now. It's a great gift that you share your role of caring for family with MI here with us who are experiencing that ourselves, and your own personal struggles along with it that help bring perspective to what we are going through. It's amazing to me that you find time to continue contributing here with all of what's going on around you at the moment, the big family events, all the people you have around you and the bumpiness of the road you travel each day. So glad you benefit from what you find here too.

The forum is a sort of sanctuary @Mazarita, a safe harbour to return to at points in the day. It is helping to keep my boat afloat ....

❤️