Night Shift

Thanks @Former-Member. Some days the sugar thing is easy and some days so hard. I found it easier in summer. Thanks for sharing your story regarding hospital too. Sometimes you have to wonder what they are thinking. I have been body searched often in hospital because they found stuff in my handbag once. Take care😊💜

Hi Teej

I really don't understand what personality disorders are - surely everyone is different and people have different strengths and weakness

Perhaps I will learn the longer I stay here - I consider a day wasted if I haven't learned something

I have a temper - of course - no one but the cat tests me around here - and I have learned a lot living with chronic pain - and I can answer back at times - but learned not to

But about your kids - and your having ADD - I guess it would be very hard to keep on track - one of my best friends had kids and OCD - I didn't know what that was at the time but it was confusing - and I am glad I never made any judgments

I wasn't the world's best mother either - I did a lot of yelling - my son pushed and pushed me - I guess like some adopted children he made me prove I loved him -

But that's past - having a breakdown when your kids were young was hard - and please don't beat yourself up about it

Kids are resiliant - they cope with what happens as long as their mother is doing her best - I hope mine was - I hope I did - I am sure most people do the best they can

And I am glad you have shared this - that takes courage

Decadian

Thanks @Decadian,

I'm not sure right now either about my personality disorders, I just know the mental health system insist I have them often at the expense of being a person. I guess today I was confused by it all too as I was trying to make sense of my life. I am starting to work through some of this with my therapist who refuses to put labels on and concentrates more on the things that make me dysfunctional and I am so grateful for her approach. This was all triggered by my phone call today to the mental health team who only have one approach and it's not working. My breakdown was when my kids were all roughly mid teenagers except the youngest who was a few years younger. But I look back now and I had been struggling for so long. Thanks so much for your honesty in sharing too. There is so much pressure for mothers to be perfect and not many can be.😊💜

sometimes i think i have a rapport going, then another appointment they just want to rip on you or they're in a mood and don't want to be there, i can usually read it

Makes it hard and confusing doesn't it @plasmo.

Gee @Former-Member

I think I must have joined this website for an education - though it is because I can get reactive depression at times and have PTSD -

My spine has made me dysfunctional - I find getting up in the morning tough - I have to take my medication - for pain - and wait until I can get up comfortably

Yet this doesn't make me have a personality disorder - or does it? There are days I ha ng about in my jammies all day - especially during cold weather - mmmmm - yes - I think the mental health issues could be a lot about semantics - I want to learn more

My mother was abusive - I don't think she could help herself - she was ignorant and had a very tough childhood - and my brother and I were born during the war and Dad worked long hours in an essential industry - so I really have a lot of compassion for her - and understand what she did and why - but it has taken a long time for me to have any sense of peace about it

But I don't think she was mentally ill - and from somewhere I learned different parenting - somewhere in the system I did parenting classes - and learned to work out whose problem whatever it was - was - if that makes any sense

And so - who decides on mental illness? - I have watched A Beautiful Mind quite a few times - and know that this is the movie and not the truth - but some people have the courage to do whatever they do -

But it doesn't answer the question - and I have the strange feeling I will be here all night now I have entered this discussion

I think my son might have been mentally ill - but I will never know

Decadian

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for sharing so much of your story. You have been very brave, they were very difficult circumstances you have worked through. As @Decadian says, I believe every mother who leads with love and tries to do the best for her children is successful ....... and we mustn't compare ourselves with others to try to determine "who got it right" ........ goodness knows, if "getting it right" was judged on how organised your children are, his tidy they are, how punctual they are, and how readily they rush to do as you ask them to ..... well my score is going to be pretty dismal ❣

My kids are fiesty, passionate, temperamental, artistic, stubborn, creative, disorganised, witty, unpunctual, and somewhat lazy creatures ....... what does that make me ....... ? ...... their mother. Nothing more, nothing less ..... I am their mother and they love me ........ not always respectfully ..... but there you are ❣

We bumble along, and we are generally successful at most of what we do ...... what more do you want ?

While I have faced a lot of crises in terms of events in my life, I am forever conscious that there are those who have fared much, much worse ...... and it is the inner battles that I think are the hardest ....... which so many of you square yourselves up to every day ....... and I am completely in awe of that.

If my struggles help you to find strength to persevere in yours @Former-Member, I feel blessed by that. You go girl !! School staff have helped me keep it together more often than I can recount ..... no shame at all in that ..... if you only knew how many other people struggle too, you would be surprised. "You can't judge a book by its cover" is so true.

❤️