Night Shift

Hi @comet,

im not really sure of the best way to give you reassurance regarding staying on the forum but I'll give it a go.

What you give me ( as the title suggests these are my totally selfish reasons for wanting you to stay )

You give me confidence to be on here, you have from the beginning. I find that when we are communicating it's easier for me to be honest and take off my mask/s for a while.

Im not sure why but I feel like I can connect with you, I'd really like a chance at a friendship (albeit online) through that connection. I guess i also see your overanalysing and can understand that. I think we'll have to work on your faulty thinking though and reframe that into sensitive, caring, kind and generous.

One of the interesting things for me has been my reaction to sorting out the gender glitch we had a while back. For me my betrayal by males has been huge. My last relationship was torn apart when it was exposed that my partner had a 30 year history of voyerism and sexual abuse. Most of his victims turned out to be my friends and it had been kept a dirty secret. It was one of my best friends who caught him exhibiting voyeuristic behaviours which was later revealed he had been doing to her for 15 months. Once this was exposed all the stories began to be told. Since my separation I have avoided men at all costs pretty much. You began to give me faith again in men again. I was grateful for this. There are other men on this forum who I have found respect for too but I guess it was you I found the connection with.

Why you should stay for you

Because I think it helps to break the isolation. Because you connect with others. Because there is support her for you and for you to give support. Because it gives an opportunity to work through and learn more about your MI issues in a positive place. Because it gives you a chance to further develop social skills and self confidence ( a huge thing that's helping me). Because you can maybe develop new interests or hobbies or even get a new recipe. Because there are people who care here.

I really hope you chose to stick around. Sending hugs and wishing you all the best whatever you decide😊💜

@comet Sorry I was writing mine while you were sending yours.

@Former-Member, so sorry to hear of your terrible experience with your ex. No wonder you feel fragile after an experience like that. My heart goes out to you. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. You are so strong to have come through such a thing with the grace and dignity you display here to us. Sending you gentle hugs.

Thanks @Mazarita. And thank you for your earlier words too. I hope your day has been good. I really appreciate your support and encouragement on here too. I would be lost without it😊💜

hello everyone

I think my computer and internet has a virus , so I will have to say Hi and Bye before it stops working altogether , have to get it fixed

Take care my friends xx

Hi @Shaz51

@Former-Member You are right LOSS relates to many things; death, loss of health, pets etc. It definitely does matter if it is visible or invisible to others as it effects how they relate about you and it. I had a friend who came with me to SHINE the movie and could relate to me on the grounds of coming from a stressed European mother.

Shine is one of the very few movies I actually saw at the cinema, and for many reasons meant a great deal to me. We both had similar education levels, a dad with schizophrenia, but different religions. She developed an early GRIEF awareness program she ran in a few community centres and she used me for building confidence in her presenting, so I went for free. She gave me the flick when she didnt have a useforme .. so then I started to be bit more assertive. Not taking other people's inadequacies or rudeness as personal ANY MORE.

During my period of peak losses .. the last death was my psychiatrist (only 6 month) ... by heart attack .. dont you think that really messed with my head ... from there on I kind of lost it. My oldest biological child was just over a year. But I didnt fit nicely into any categories .. PANDA was only just getting started... I have just had to be VERY determined to survive ..

The next shrink I went to had been the former one's student .. and so then we get into attachment theory ... and I had to be careful of the losses of my psychiatrist ... what a tangled web ...

Hi @Appleblossom, I think your last post was probably meant for @Former-Member but I enjoyed reading it too. I think one day you need to write your memoirs @Appleblossom and title it a tale of great survival. You also inspire me and give me strength. Thanks for your support on here, I appreciate it. Thanks also for adding your voice today to my dilemma. 😊💜

Thanks also @Faith-and-Hope and @Snuchu for your comments. I hope you are both well.

Hows your tick boxes going @Faith-and-Hope? I imagine you are slowly getting through your lists. I hope your family is going along with your script at the moment and there haven't been too many rocky patches, although you are made for dealing with them😊💜