Night Shift

Good night @eth

are you up still @Mazarita My son has started getting me to play "Undertale" a computer game .. have you heard of i?

Hi @Appleblossom I'm still here on and off getting ready for bed. I'm not a gamer so haven't heard of Undertale. Partner plays a few games and has tried to get me interested but I'm just not. Already spend too much time on the computer really, especially today. But it's felt good to let the reins go and not be mentally trying to get myself to do things all the time.Will try to catch the activity wagon again tomorrow.

I am hopeless and unmotivated by games ... but every now and then he finds one that he is keen for me to play ... this one is very light-hearted and we are both laughing a lot when we play ... so thats great.

I wont keep you up ... but it was good to talk about my past with you ... I would not want to go back there either, but they are some of the more nostalgic memories that I have. I havent had many good conversations about it ... it is such a polarising topic ... one aunt was into threats because I knew about her use ..... I had hoped we would be able to look behind and be happy we had grown out of it ... but when deaths occur everyone is on edge ... ... my old GP was pretty conservative but he tried to understand me rather than adopt a judgemental ..."there is no excuse" approach.

That's okay. You're not keeping me up longer than I want to be here. I think I get where you are coming from with nostalgic memories. There are times like that for me too when I look back on that wild period I had. It was certainly more glamorous, if fraught.

When I stopped drugs I became very focussed on study ... then family.... I dont mind a quiet life now ... you have a regular friendship circle ... I would have thought I would have by now ... but friendship is so delicate ... yet it is what everybody wants ... surely the hook ups should work better

@Appleblossom Where I live now, the friendship circle is limited to a very few people, and mainly one in particular. The others I only see occasionally. An odd assortment of people we are, from different parts and different backgrounds. Sometimes stark contrasts in opinion and values. But we seem to have found a way to appreciate each other regardless.

That is good ... and not that common.

I am trying to persist with my writers group, Shakespeare and choirs ... I feel accepted in the groups ... but the one friendship I had away from the group became toxic. Another lady who pops in and visits me has been isolated a lot and taught me it was ok to just find a way to be in the group but not have special friends.

When @eth said to invite a friend over ... I was stumped ... I just dont have that kind of network ... today I ran into a lady from 2 doors down ... and we promised to have coffee .. but she is much younger and running a mile a minute ... working mum with young kids ... so that is why I see problems in connecting as part of the pace of modern life.

Your engagement with various community and cultural activities is great. That's where I'm very lacking at present. Partner is here but neither of us have anyone to just call and come over. The friend who we see once or twice a week has serious mobility and health issues and so we go to her as a rule. It is great though to have companions to just hang out with if you can find them. Hopefully there'll be some connection there with the neighbour for you. Sometimes the contrasts can be fruitful.

I would very happily go for a walk with you at the beach.

If I ease up on myself... not doing 120% ... I am easier for others to be around ... but the amount I can sleep when I want to seems to be pretty ... laid back ... I havent indulged it as much before ... so I guess that is where I am at ....I surprised myself.

Yay to the idea of a beach walk with you @Appleblossom

I will now sign off and try to sleep. Sweet dreams to you.