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Night Shift

MazaritaSenior Contributor

Night Shift

Since I am awake at 4am I thought I'd start this thread for those of us who have trouble sleeping and might find it helpful to have a place to go to chat. Whatever gets you through the night is alright.

To get the ball rolling, I'll just say that I enjoyed being part of the Topic Tuesday discussion tonight. I wish it was possible for these events to be weekly rather than monthly. Either way, thanks SANE and all the people I've met on here over recent months.

Edited June 2016 and February 2017: Night Shift is now open 24 hours a day. To join in, just click through to the last page of the thread at the top right of this post to get to the latest message.

Edited April 2017 and June 2017: For the sake of better communications between members here, I am adding that this thread is meant to be a caring, kind and gentle place of sharing. Humour is welcome, as long as its not unkindly directed towards other members. Hope your time in this chat thread is rewarding.

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In response to: Night Shift

ethSenior Contributor

Re: Night Shift

@Former-Member I'd like to imagine that one day I'll share my home life with someone again but after so long seeing this man I've come to really appreciate the relationship as it is. He doesn't ever want to live with someone again due to 3 marriages in the past and 33 years in AA to date, but he's pretty special and my main friend for a long time now.

Sometimes it's good for us to have a period of flying solo too. I guess in a way I've got the best of both worlds, but I do have periods of really wanting more from the relationship. It's taught me to really stand on my own feet compared to relationships I had in the past. And as a DV survivor I relish having my own home with no-one telling me what to do.

In response to: Night Shift

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Night Shift

Thanks @eth @Former-Member

I am just hoping my husband looks well. Because I know his background issues, I can see the physical issues it's causing, and I hope it is caught before it gets much worse. I hope I can say that without distressing anyone else. Please let me know if there is a boundary there that I am missing .....

I have heard he has been eating things he usually wouldn't touch in his current state of mind, so I am hoping that is a positive .....

It is going to continue feeling like I am living with a stranger until we have diagnosis and treatment, but he is still a lovely stranger a lot of the time. Even when he is with us physically, he is so locked into a daily regimen of exercise and food fixations as to make him somewhat "absent" in the midst of us. We have learned to accommodate it though, so we are okay ......

It's the way things are for now, and we all still love each other. Just the coming together with appreciation for that much is good.

Thanks for listening. It means the world.

In response to: Night Shift

KurraSenior Contributor

Re: Night Shift

@Faith-and-Hope
You seem to have found a balanced way to approach this situation. Enjoy the time you have together. Try to ride with the behaviours you find distressing.
Thinking of you 💜

In response to: Night Shift

Unknown userMember

Re: Night Shift

@eth. I'm so glad you've got him it's a pity that it hasn't been a bigger commitment. I'm with you on needing some space sometimes. I was ℅ dependant in my last relationship and that wasn't healthy either. Learning to stand on my own two feet has been / is a huge feat. I think I would like a relationship that has the best of both worlds to start but like you hope that one day I can share my whole life with someone.

In response to: Re: Night Shift

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Night Shift

@eth I am glad you can accept your relationship as it is for now. As long as it is feeding something good in you, it sounds like a wonderful thing, if not ideal entirely.

I am sure after past experiences you feel well in being mistress of your own home ! I am glad you are there for each other in good companionship ways.

Have a lovely evening.

I expect I will catch up with everyone here sometime tomorrow.

Be well 💜

In response to: Re: Night Shift

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Night Shift

Thanks @Kurra

💜

In response to: Re: Night Shift

ethSenior Contributor

Re: Night Shift

@Faith-and-Hope You are so strong and loyal in the way you hold your family together and have patience with their individual needs. You are the glue. I do hope diagnosis is not too far away for your husband. That will be the beginning of working to solve the problems. I'm glad he is still lovely at least in some way.

In response to: Night Shift

Unknown userMember

Re: Night Shift

@Faith-and-Hope. I was meaning to say that I think ED are so incredibly difficult and complex to be the carer of. I think it's hard because everyone can physically see things are not right except for the person themselves. You are reminded of it constantly. I have friends whose daughter has an ED. I am in awe of their courage and commitment because its relentless. I really wish you all the best and strength to deal with it he coming months. In the meantime enjoy catching up with him again. I admire your values in all this😊💜💐

In response to: Re: Night Shift

ethSenior Contributor

Re: Night Shift

I need to go and sort out some food now. I'll be back later no doubt @Former-Member @Kurra

In response to: Night Shift

Unknown userMember

Re: Night Shift

Knock knock @Faith-and-Hope, just me inviting myself to roast dinner wow 🍖🍴🍷
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