Night Shift

@Faith-and-Hope. Oops posted too early. Like you I don't give up easily on relationships but sometimes I feel my family would have an easier road without me. In my sane times I know that isn't the case but when I lose control that is what I feel. I don't want this to be a depressive conversation. You have done such an amazing job at helping others through today and I am a bit loathed to do this as you must have 'help' fatigue by now. There s probably a real term for it.

Just keep walking forward too @Former-Member. We are all on this path together, and you will be in the process of developing a new sense of identity.

I have the feeling there may be some other form of mi underlying the ed in my husband, but only time and diagnoses will tell. You are all helping me more than you can know to keep up my courage, and maybe in the longer term, understand how to help my husband.

I also have a daughter-in-law with bipolar, which is new to me too, although I believe one of my grandmothers had that challenge in her life too. The forums are helping me to understand what my d.i.l. needs or can benefit from as well.

My life circumstances have been incredibly diverse, and I have picked up a lot of advice and coping skills along the way. It is a pleasure to pass these on to others, where they are generous enough to share with me, and amongst all the things I can't resolve in our life at the moment, it helps to extend support to others. I don't feel quite so over-whelmed and helpless.

I'm good @Former-Member 😊

Keep talking as much as you are happy to. It's very different from everything I am holding up here, and we have a lot of deep peaks and troughs, but they pass, and I recover, putting the previous drama behind me.

If I am feeling emotionally fatigued, I follow patterns of self-care until I am feeling strong again.

I also have some wonderful friends, and they shower me with love when I need it. That gives me renewed energy that I can "pass forward" to others. That can have a healing energy about it too.

All good.

Hi Night Owl @plasmo 😊

I have tried to support someone (my ex partner) with a MI before. I tried so hard but I got it all wrong. I tried to micro manage him and take his MI from him as such. I wish I knew then what I know now. I think from what I've read you are giving your husband the support he needs. In my case my ex partner didn't ever really take on responsibility for himself, since we've been separated he still doesn't. I think as long as they are taking some ownership even if only a little it gives a chance of making a difference. Thinking of you @Faith-and-Hope. You have so many battles to win but it looks like from the outside you are going to win and reap all the rewards you deserve😊💜

Hi @plasmo. How goes you?

Thank you so much @Former-Member. I know I can't do this on my own. I have had help and support, from our kids as well, but it has been wearing us all down, and I am so glad we are achieving break-through a at long last.

My husband's ed has masqueraded as an extremely heathy athletic lifestyle to the outside world, including GPs. The Tripura doesn't stay hidden forever though, and it is progressively revealing itself.

Husband is still deep in denial however, and hostile to any reference to his ed behaviours, so all we have been able to do is keep our life together around his issues, and keep him placated as much as possible in the interim.

That has created intense pressures on the kids, above and beyond a "comedy of errors" with other challenging up issues cropping up randomly as well. Dealing with hubby will make the rest far more manageable.

Just taking one day at a time.

For many different reasons, everybody here relates to that.

🌷

Hi @comet. It's great to hear from you. I'm so glad you found my post useful. I bet someone will read yours at some stage and find it helpful too. I think that's the way it goes on here. You find something that you can connect with and suddenly you don't feel so alone. I didn't know how to articulate my feelings before I started with my psychologist. I had to learn words and sensations that went with them. Sometimes now I think I've gone too far and know them too well ( I have no middle ground). Thanks for your encouragement. I hope you are ok and have a good weekend too. I'd love to hear from you again too😊💜