Night Shift

I'm not going to go any further with this right now @Faith-and-Hope. Too many issues and feelings hitting the surface. We think differently about the topic, that much is clear.

Sorry @eth, missed this bit -

"Revisiting"means we are stopping to condpsider whether the social structures we were raised under should still apply as they are to our society, or whether it's time to change them because we have worked out that they no longer serve us (or if they ever did, really).

Oh @eth, I think we are saying the same thing, and I have mis-communicated that somehow, but I will drop it for now, as you wish.

Feeling like the discussion has got a bit 'hot under the collar'. I don't know if what I'm about to say will help that or just add fuel to the fire. But here goes...

I identify to some extent as 'queer' myself but can also understand where other thoughts on the issue are coming from. I've tried many times, over many years, to hint at and directly tell my mother about the 'queer' aspects of my sexuality (bisexuality and an earlier relationship with a transgender person). But she really just has never wanted to hear it from me. I know she really does know (I made a short film about it that she's seen). But she just can't talk about it.

I choose not to be angry about this and to understand her reasons. Her upbringing and religious associations make it just too painful for her to think of me in this way. Even if she could, I know that there would be aspects of her thinking on it that would not completely be in accord with how I think about it. I find it's best in human terms not to be too absolute in expecting compliance to queer ideology.

Let's remember love and compassion above all, even through misunderstanding and differing points of view.

@Mazarita I'm sorry to hear that your Mum doesn't understand this aspect of you. You seem to be reconciled with that in a wise way.

In a forum this large there are bound to be times when people don't see things quite the same way. I was more exhausted than angry. Not up to explaining things like the difference between sexuality and gender identity, which I think you do understand. Or the use of certain pronouns. Or ....................

I wasn't expecting compliance, rather hoping that I could express what I'm working through without every concept being challenged and/or negated. e.g. "She might come back" .... no they won't, they have found a way to live authentically at last.

And all because I said "No I don't have a son" and then tried to briefly explain.

Hi @eth, thanks for your words of support. It's great that your child has found a way to live authentically at last and that you support them passionately in this. As for me, it's really not a problem for me and Mum these days. She and I have such a wonderfully understanding relationship in other ways, as we both get older and wiser. It totally makes sense that you are exhausted from your chest infection and that your child's gender identity is complicated to explain to most people. I think @Faith-and-Hope and @Former-Member have tried to be conciliatory and I didn't read their thoughts as meaning to be challenges or negations, perhaps just revealing different understandings and viewpoints of what, after all, are fairly advanced and recent concepts. I think there is a lot to work with between us all, and such a wonderful degree of support for each other up to now. I hope this can long continue.

I didn't mean to tread on your toes @eth.

i'm sorry.

Please forgive me.