Night Shift

Hi @Mazarita @Appleblossom @eth (If I have caught you before bed)

My evening was good.

Daughter 3 had a much better day at school today. She didn't go to all classes. She stayed for the morning ones in the counsellor's office, but was communicating via email with her teachers from there regarding required study for her upcoming exams - very proactive, mapping it out with the counsellor's support. She then went to afternoon classes.

She has also been moving about much more freely, forgetting at times that she is supposed to be in pain (the psychosomatic bit), then remembering again, but it is a vast improvement on yesterday.

She did burn dramatically through data limits on her phone in the last couple of weeks tho, and that needed addressing. What to do ?? Didn't want her falling apart again over being dressed down for it, but it's also important to keep to the boundaries wherever possible, and the data-use melt-down was pretty obnoxious. I called in reinforcements in the form of Son 1.

He is the closest in nature to her, and him being there kept her grounded. I think she was really impressed actually, that he had come over for her, for this. Husband had sent a bar graph which quite impressively demonstrated how she had totally blown the data budget, which really helped to. Cringed at that, big time!

We elicited an apology from her, and a promise not to do it again. Big bro reset her phone to give daily as well as monthly updates on data usage, so she has no "whoops, silly me ... " excuses. She also won't want to disappoint him, even if she has any vindictive anger issues towards her dad or me.

She also sat down and wrote and decorated all her 18th birthday invitations which were starting to be an issue time wise, and enjoyed it. It was something she had been telling me to do, but I knew she would regret it later if I did, because it was important that she felt ownership over it.

All in all, a good day 😏

Headed to bed myself now. G'night all ❤️

@Faith-and-Hope, just got me before crashing, and read your post. Sounds like good progress is happening there. Happy to hear it was a day of advances with things overall. Sleep well.

Good morning, @Silenus,

I went to sleep feeling yet again very troubled by my feelings on these issues too, but have woken up feeling 'reset', even if only temporarily, saying, 'ah, what's the point of beating myself about this issue over and over ad infinitum?'

Like you though, this is deep down one of the most troubling aspects of my existence: the stigma and extreme low status of needing the DSP to be able to survive. As if there's not enough stigma already about being mentally and physically ill in a society that worships at the shrine of sports and the almight dollar! I do not see you as a weak link in society. Those kinds of thoughts are mainly stigma getting to us I think. Having mental illnesses, we are more vulnerable to taking those societal projections and using them as weapons against ourselves too.

From what I know of you, I think you are just fine. More than that, your sensitive, caring, insightful, humourous posts here are great and very helpful to others, all for free. Big hugs for what you go through in order to be the unique and wonderful presence on earth I find you to be.

Good morning @Mazarita @Silenus

May I offer a perspective ? This is for @eth @Appleblossom And @plasmo too ...

My sister has been on DSP since she reached adulthood, and my brother since a traffic accident that almost claimed his life. My mother was no longer alive when my brother was injured. I'm sort of thankful for that in a way. It was something she didn't have to suffer through, although I would reverse that thought in a heartbeat to still have her here.

The pace she had set with my sister though, ended up carrying through with my brother, and the woman he recently married has the same value system. The new wife has major physical disability issues, pain issues, and perhaps an MI, but that is not obvious if it is there. They live some distance away, so my communications with them are a correspondence.

My sister being on DSP. or anyone else for that matter, was not only considered a completely private issue for them, but you will also relate to the fact that "high functioning" people, even if that state comes and goes, are front-runners in giving back to the community in exactly the way you guys do. My mother helped to place my sister as a volunteer aide in a church-run day care centre, and a church run op-shop. My sister-in-law is an RSPCA volunteer. My brother helps with soup kitchens, and whatever other niche he comes across. They are all considered invaluable to their co-workers.

The way you are there for each other is invaluable support for our society. Haven't we got social and cultural support groups everywhere ? Nobody goes, "Oh, you belong to an Italian club, do you ... ? Oh, I see ... ?!" or "Rceiving Senior Citizen benefits, are we ... ?!"

I am in no way trying to trivialise the daily struggles with pain, confusion, or anything else. That is not the point. The point is that everyone is a valuable member of society, and most people want to contribute to that society, or back to that society in some way. That's just natural, unless there is a barrier of energy depletion, or distress, or any other reason that people in the general work force take leave for, without being questioned or considered inferior for.

You guys not only help to support the emotional strength of each other, you are generous in offering that out to anyone you come across who might benefit from it. You volunteer for charity work. Your attendance at group community classes brings your special magic to brighten other people's days there, and help them to want to keep coming along.

It's community service, people, and you rock at it !!

And people gotta live !!

DSP in some form or other existed way back to ancient societies. It's natural. It belongs. You belong. We all belong.

A society of perfectly functioning high achievers is a myth. People trying to live that myth are having break-downs cos it's not a reality. Affluenza. It's epidemic.

Off my soap-box now ... ❤️❤️❤️

Thanks @Mazarita. Much appreciated. You are a beautiful soul, kind and gentle and wise.

I still stand by my statement that I am a weak part of society, though. People often get triggered by talk of weakness, but I admit openly that I am not as strong as some. I cannot do the work that I used to do - being an electrical engineer, working huge hours, under regular or near-constant stress...

I also admit that my body is weak. I constantly carry a minimum of 3 or 4 soft tissue injuries at any one time, and have been like that all of my life. I was teased and bullied at school because I wasn't into sport. Nobody knew about the pain. Nobody cared, I guess...

But there is no harm in admitting to weakness. I have strengths that compensate for those weaknesses, by virtue of my intellect, my creativity and my empathy and loving compassion. Alas, society has got a lot of growing up to do, because it does very poorly at judging people too harshly or simply, and it overlooks important contributions that the "weaker" elements of our society make.

Society is very materialistic. It's all about things, about money, about measuring success, about knuckling down and being a "heavy lifter", as Smokin' Joe Hockey once put it. It's an irony that I, an unemployed person with mental health issues, pay more tax through GST than a lot of millionaires do...

See, society doesn't really do so well in allocating worth and value to what really matters - human values, ethics, morality, compassion, supporting one another. Mental health is another thing where society fails dismally. All of the stresses built into our daily day. The rat race. The traffic. The rushing around all the time. Everything so expensive. Debt. Financial stress. Stress, stress and more stress. Driving us all insane...

You know... 70 years ago, they were saying that soon, machines will be able to do all the work, and we will be free. Well, machines do a lot of the work now, but we are not free. Unemployment rises with every self-checkout machine at the supermarket, and still society makes us feel bad about ourselves, like it's our fault that the labour market can't keep up with technological progress. Society, once more, failing to adjust values in time to help people...

I am weak, as measured by society. As measured by myself, I am both weak and strong. It has been the labour of my life to find ways to live with my weakness and maximise the worth and value of my strengths.

If only I didn't have to fight society and general ignorance along the way, I'd be just sweet...

Well said, @Faith-and-Hope!

Well said, @Faith-and-Hope and @Silenus both! But I still reckon you aren't a 'weak link' in society, @Silenus, hehe... True about all of us having strengths and weaknesses in general though...

Oh, and 80 years old, my dad is still an active member of the SES. He is known as a "hawke-eye" amongst the other volunteers, even tho he can't manage the abseiling any more.

He rocks that orange jumpsuit !

He just rocks ! 😊