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what gives you hope?

what gives you hope?

often in our darkest times we dont think about the positives in life, or looking ahead at a future life and what that might look like, so when things get really tough and we are loosing the hope that things will change, or loosing the will to go on what is is that give you that light in a dark tunnel?

is it your pets? friends? a certain quote?

it can be anything as long as it helps you in your darkest hour


For me what gives me hope is that there have been people in a similar situation as me esp the CSA and whilst it was a very hard journey and by no means an easy recovery, they are alot better. of course they have their bad days, who doesnt? but its the fact that they didnt give up, and they managed to get througha dark tunnel blind and come out into the world a better person.

so what gives you hope?

23 replies

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In response to: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

Hi @outlander

What a wonderful thread, post and question.

What gives me hope - for a start not losing it in a better future. Holding onto a positive vision of it no matter the odds. That takes practise when deeply depressed. It starts with a glimmer of a better life and a better me ( a glimmer of light), which urges taking that small step towards it. Then I go from there setting personal goals within my limits to achieve it ( pushing a bit when necessary).

When in the deepest darkness to find hope is for me taking a leap of faith. So having faith in goodness, good things and the belief that good things can happen is the epitome of hope for me. And for others that can also include faith in a higher power of love and goodness. Personal choice. Having faith in humanity can be another. But because I have been so hurt the latter was not enough for me. I am improving though as I have learned we do sometimes have to have faith in others to sustain hope.

What strengthens me to keep this hope going? Working on self belief and my own value - acknowledging the good in me also and not allowing the negative from some others or life to take it or create self doubt in my good intentions and in a better life that I can make for not only myself but for others too. Nurturing self belief.

The love of my husband and friends sustains me by renewing my hope in the good everyday. This provides a safe environment and relief from loneliness that is essential for healing and self development for me.

Having a purpose renews my hope in life's meaning ( battling the hopeless - e.g what is the point?). I haven't found it in its entirety yet but still searching. Once I have that fully I know I will be that much further down the tunnel as I have had tastes of it. Keeps hope going in me.

Keeping active of mind and body - this distracts my mind from overthinking my grief and painful thoughts of the past that can wear down hope.

And when all seems so overwhelmingly dark for me and hope hard to see, it is a pure act of the will to "not do as I feel" but what I know is the right thing to do to reach that light - utilising inner fortitude and resilience to survive; so the battle of spirit over mind and body begins. Once all three connect I will be home.

In response to: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

Very good topic, @outlander

For me (multi-CSA, depression and anxiety, carer for husband, work full-time, trying not to drink alcohol, husband wanting sex from alot of different women before he passes away), some days-like today-are really bleak and I struggle to get through without all the negative self-talk taking control. However, I have a great psychologist, who I've been seeing since February, and I have the support of a 24/7 counselling line, not that I'm always able to say what's on my mind because I hang up alot before speaking to someone, and a few trusted people at work who help me through. There are times when my support people at work are absent, so those days are tough. I don't know that I'll ever "recover"-whatever that means-but I need to believe that life will get better. My little dog fills my heart with love. I have learnt, and am still learning, ways to soothe myself, whether it be writing in my journal, music (especially 70s and Mark Vincent and Adele), dancing around the lounge room, reading, having my toys (I'm closer to 60 than 50), doing simple jigsaw puzzles (nothing over 60 pieces), and connecting with caring and compassionate people on the forums. Also, sunny days and crisp mornings when I walk my dog. For me its a combination of things that give me hope.

In response to: Re: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

Very well said @Former-Member self-
belief...although I'm not quite there yet.

In response to: Re: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

Thank you @NatalieS. Self belief can be a work in progress - especially if we have been badly hurt.... We will get there 💕

In response to: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

Will get back here soon guys. Just trying to help someone in abit of distress atm. I havent forgotten here ❤❤

In response to: Re: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

I like this thread, What gives me hope? My children. If I can "get better" (what ever that means), than it would be for them. I just hope in those dark days that they are enough to keep me going.

In response to: Re: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

Hello @Former-Member @outlander @Former-Member

That's one thing I'll never know, that of having had children because whilst quite young I promised myself I would never want bad things to happen to any child of mine, although I know that's an impossibility (apologies for sounding so down) so really, in my situation, there's only me...and that's what I'm trying to work on, to build my self-belief and confidence, because sometimes I feel like I'm going round and round in circles, or backwards.

I know this might sound corny, but another thing that gives me hope is that every day is the chance for a new beginning. I try to be grateful for the good things and people in my life. As long as I keep moving I have hope. My choice is to keep moving or stop. If I stopped I don't know that I'd want to get going again. I don't know what keeps me going? Maybe that glimmer of hope???? Whatever it is???

In response to: Re: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

That's not corny at all @NatalieS but wise and inspiring.

In response to: Re: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

@NatalieSthat doesn't sound corny at all. I think we all want a new beginning, I know I certainly do. A beginning where I don't have to deal with any more of this crap in my life.

A new beginning sounds wonderful

In response to: Re: what gives you hope?

Re: what gives you hope?

What gives me hope is that I am just space dust and my my worries and problems are insignificant when I think about how enormous the universe/s are. It is ridiculous how tiny I am and that makes me content and calm.

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