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Half/Half

Unknown userMember15 Oct 2017, 9:26 am AEDT

Half/Half

I am freaking out bad!!!!!

I am really on the verge of screaming!!!!!!

I've been on my new medication for a few months for bipolar. It's helped with anxiety, anger and highs a lot. Zero for depression.

As of late though I can feel my medication working in my brain. I can tell I'm on a bipolar rapid cycle and my brain is screaming to go wild and my medication is screaminf to chill and I'm just like WTF! I'm stuck. And I hate knowing I take medication to feel better and know I can feel it trying to work on me which makes me feel less human. I'm over this!

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In response to: Half/Half

BunniekinsSenior Contributor16 Oct 2017, 12:36 am AEDT

Re: Half/Half

@Former-Member You definately are not alone! It is good that you have a gp that will do that with the psychiatrists. Having a great gp is invaluable isn't it? I love, you know what I mean, love my gp :smileyhappy

The rush, feeling like God, in intoxicating... no rules, no limits ... just running at full speed ... totally on self destructive mode and then Bam! hitting a brick wall and OMG! the damage ... while I have been out of my mind is devestating to me.

2 meds for me to be in zombie land (but as I say I can feel their effect warring off ...) I don't want to lose my mind again. I have promised my family and friends I wont let it happen ever again ... so I can't ,,, however tempting it is.

I have been dealing with this on and off for along time and physically I don't think my body could take the ride anymore either. It is mentally and physically exhausting. I am sure you know what I mean. Particuarly when the depression hits.

Good to talk to someone in the know so to speak. I am hear to talk anytime.

In response to: Half/Half

Unknown userMember16 Oct 2017, 6:51 pm AEDT

Re: Half/Half

It's so good having a great GP @Bunniekins. Couldt do it with out him.

Oh when you hit the wall. Man I feel physically sick and really ashamed. I've lost so many friends. But then I'm like oh well true friends would stay.

I understand the exhaustion on the body. I find it physically painful.

In response to: Re: Half/Half

BunniekinsSenior Contributor16 Oct 2017, 7:22 pm AEDT

Re: Half/Half

@Former-Member You are right your true friends would stay ... and tell you what I will stay. You can depend that I wont shun you if things go belly up, ok? I promise.

In response to: Half/Half

Unknown userMember19 Oct 2017, 1:04 pm AEDT

Re: Half/Half

Thanks for that @Bunniekins your right true friends stay. I didn't take it as a list except I get board a lot as I got no one to hang out with.

How's your week been? Mine was horrific I had some tests done as I've been actually virus sick and on how the new meds are treating my body and I started getting frantic calls from the nurse saying I must come in as my results have been flagged and they are urgent and was yelling in the phone and left numerous messages. Long story short I'm perfectly fine and it wasn't urgent. But omg the anxiety it set off! I was so mad!!!! I'm actually writing in an complaint. But to be honest even though I was anxious I didn't cry, scream, vomit, shake, go dizzy or the usual. I just kept working even though I was shallow breathing and scared so I think the new meds are working.

In response to: Re: Half/Half

BunniekinsSenior Contributor19 Oct 2017, 6:34 pm AEDT

Re: Half/Half

@Former-Member Happy to hear your meds are working for you ... I have to get away from it all ... need a break from the boredom of everything ... so I am going to take my trip into the outback and see what happens. Will be back in a few weeks depending ... red and black dirt awaits me! Take care.

In response to: Half/Half

BunniekinsSenior Contributor23 Oct 2017, 8:02 pm AEDT

Re: Half/Half

@Former-Member firstly I hope you are feeling a lot better than this morning ... I went to my pdoc this afternoon and he basically said the medications that I am on are just meant to tone down the bipolar not meant to turn me into a zombie.

I find that worse because I can feel it rumbling away inside trying to break free but being contained by the medication it is very distracting. I would prefer to be a zombie then maybe I would have some peace. In any event he wont up it so I am left having to deal with the distractions and mind racing thoughts which are so hard to keep under control. Having to do any form of study is nigh impossible because of my thought processes atm.

Just sitting at the computer an writing anything down is so difficult ...

In response to: Half/Half

Unknown userMember23 Oct 2017, 10:36 pm AEDT

Re: Half/Half

Me personally have been a zombie on medication and trust me it's as bad as being ill. Well in my eyes it is. Maybe for you it will be a nice time for a break. No personally not feeling much better. Just starting to get the greyish self harming thoughts come through. I think it's going to be like this for a few weeks. Meh. I'm going to eat chocolate

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