Does a diagnosis really help?

What an interesting post, I tend to agree with you Appleblossom when you say that it is a balancing act.

I, on the other hand, tell everyone that I suffer with Bipolar and, to my greatest surprise I find that most people accept me as I am. Naturally, there is always those who are prejudiced, but I am happy to say that things are changing for the better.

Also important to remember that Stigma has a double edge: the inner and outer stigma. The inner stigma is our perception of stigma. In my own experience there have been many times when the stigma was only in my mind and I had projected it out on others falsely perceiving that they were prejudiced towards me. This goes with distorted thinking that I have been writing about here.

Yes Stigma is out there but it is also in our mind and this can be tricky.

My wife and I have decided to disclose so that we can educate the world. It is fairly uncommon this and it does come with a bit of a price. But we soon find out who are friends and who are not and we tend to avoid those who are not friends and stick with the friends if you know what I mean. At the very least we know where we stand.

Hi All

My daughter in law was diagnosed with bipolar last year, following on from an earlier diagnosis of Social Anxiety Disorder.

From our perspective, that has created a bubble of understanding and empathy around her. We know it is something she carries with her, and it affects her moods and personal choices, but it's not personal towards us.

When my son turns up to family events solo nine times out of ten, it's disappointing, and we know it will be a lonely path he walks a lot of the time, but there is also an awareness that they have to make choices as they go along in relation to dealing with this, and added criticism or social pressure will only make it worse.

In saying that, I have only shared the bipolar "tag" with people on a need to know basis. It is first and foremost my DIL's personal issue for which she deserves privacy and a sense of personal control, but also because when she is present with us she has a beautiful smile and comes across as a somewhat reserved ray of sunshine. In those moments, she simply is who she is - neither her bipolar, nor her academic achievements, nor the fact that she is fluent in another language, very artistic in her use of make-up, and a dog-lover are on show. They are all just a part of her inner story as far as I am concerned.

The diagnosis has given us understanding about her private struggles, and the opportunity to feel like we can support her in some ways, but it's not the "be all and end all".

Diagnosis over my husband ? Now that would be pure gold !!! We are adrift in an unfriendly ocean without it 😓

Finally getting an accurate diagnosis at age 46 helped me enormously. Prior to that I was always treated for depression with antidepressants (for over 20 years) and no-one realised that because I had bipolar 1 I was having adverse reactions to the antidepressants and they were actually triggering mania episodes followed by worse depressions. Since diagnosis I am now on the right medications (took some fine tuning but a good balance now) and have also learned much more appropriate self-care and managment - I cope so much better and am a lot more stable. So for me it has been nothing but good despite the initial difficulty wrapping my head around the label.

Stigma and choosing who to disclose to have become easier over 7 years too. I only disclose to a chosen few as I have found a lot of ignorance in the broader society.

Dear @Faith-and-Hope

So, the positivity is that you accept Is What Im thinking.

Thanks for your message, I read it last night and was so impressed with your caring nature.

I always think; for myself not to label myself because it only reinforces this idea of not coping. My unconscious will believe if I say it.......

But I am. My husband suffering times of mental ill health and I'm just sitting here; while he geos through his weeks.

You write;

In those moments, she simply is who she is - neither her bipolar, nor her academic achievements, nor the fact that she is fluent in another language, very artistic in her use of make-up, and a dog-lover are on show. They are all just a part of her inner story as far as I am concerned.

It's a bit like two steps forward one step back day by day but the days are......different and exciting for him. I'm though learning how I need to be with my life; what can I do to be in my own life.

It is sad that your son is alone at times. We just don't get invoted to my Mum's or to his Mum's as we are the difficult ones......I dunno what is difficult about us ???

Hello @DefiantPanda

I am ok ,

how are you today ??