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Compassion

Misty-MirrorsSenior Contributor14 Sept 2015, 8:35 am AEST

Compassion

THE STATIONS OF THE CROSS

Jesus was condemned to death in a Roman court.

When I was 21 years old, I was charged with a crime in a New South Wales court. I was not guilty of the accusations, but was convicted. I was confused and could not cope with the drama. Jesus had been innocent in the Roman court. He remained calm.
When I was 61, senior government employees accused me of being a danger to a female public servant. The public servant had been rude to me. I had used no violence. I had merely for an apology. A senior government employee manipulated me. I was very upset. I think Jesus would have taken it calmly - like he had 2000 years ago.
When I was 62, I was accused of upsetting six people in a suburban support group. I was picked on by a subculture. They manipulated the group to ban me. I was innocent. I was very upset. I was not calm like Jesus.
When I was 68, the CEO of a company complained about me to the board in my absence. I was a member of the board. The items in the complaint had been fabricated. I was expelled from the board and from the company. It had been treachery. I was very upset. I think Jesus would have taken it calmly.
At 69 I was banned for a year from another support group for having been rude to three people. I had had no opportunity to defend myself. I was upset. Probably Jesus would have accepted it calmly.
In the future I may be abused wrongly. I hope God will help me to cope with it.

Jesus was made to bear his cross.

In each of the five cases I had to cope with pain.

Jesus fell the first time under his cross.

In the first case I contracted a incurable illness. It is a handicap. It is not contagious. I had and have to put up with suffering.
In the second case I had to cope with shame and incriminating public service records.
In the third case I had to put up with shame, rejection, isolation and a bad reputation.
In the fourth case I had to cope with shame, betrayal, rejection, gossip and pain.
In the fifth case I also had to put up with rejection, ungreatfulness, suffering, isolation and a bad reputation.
In the future I may have to cope with more pain.

Jesus met his afflicted mother.

My psychologist consoled me.

The Cyrenean helped Jesus.

A university friend and school friend take an interest in me.

Veronica wiped the face of Jesus.

A few women console me.

Jesus fell the second time.

I haven't had a second downfall. Maybe it will happen in the future.

Jesus spoke to the holy women.

I made some good friends.

Jesus fell for the third time.

I haven't had a third downfall yet. Thank you God.

Jesus was stripped of his garments.

Each time I was treated wrongly my self-esteem was reduced.

Jesus was nailed to the cross.

One day a fatal illness or accident will affect me. If I can serve God thru my death, I will be glad.

Jesus died on the cross.

One day I will die.

Jesus was taken from the cross.

Probably my body will be taken to a cemetery.

Jesus was placed in the Sepulchre.

It is likely that my body will be burnt in a crematorium.

71 replies

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In response to: Compassion

Misty-MirrorsSenior Contributor22 Sept 2015, 11:09 am AEST

Re: Compassion

Continuation:
Sorry. I pressed "post" before I had finished. It sounds like your father was a very educated man. My father wasn't. It is sad that he had no parents to raise him. Although, I almost think now that it would have been better if I had been raised by some strangers rather than my parents. My mother was terrible and my father was an enabler.
I have to "post" now. I may continue this message.
Misty

In response to: Compassion

Misty-MirrorsSenior Contributor22 Sept 2015, 11:15 am AEST

Re: Compassion

Hello NikNik.
Thank you for your comments.
Is religion not allowed in the Sane website? Is religion not allowed in the "Looking after our wellbeing" section?
Misty.

In response to: Compassion

Misty-MirrorsSenior Contributor22 Sept 2015, 11:28 am AEST

Re: Compassion

Hello Defiant Panda.
I also feel bad when people punish me. I feel shame. At one time I was too shy to debate the issue. I got angry. I raised my voice (once I even smacked a man in a the face with a book). These days I try to debate the issue calmly. I am still not good at debating. It takes a long time for me to think of some logical argument (sometimes weeks, sometimes months and sometimes years!).
I think it is better to respond slowly (and calmly) than not at all. What do you think?
Misty Mirror.

In response to: Re: Compassion

NikNikSenior Contributor22 Sept 2015, 1:06 pm AEST

Re: Compassion

Hi @Misty-Mirrors

Sorry for the confusion. You are allowed to mention religion. The only time talking about religion is problematic is if it's in a disrespectful manner towards those who follow a particular religion.

Apologies again for the confusion.

Nik

In response to: Re: Compassion

DefiantPandaSenior Contributor22 Sept 2015, 1:20 pm AEST

Re: Compassion

@Misty-Mirrors yes you are absolutely right, easier said than done though 🙂 Just so much easier to run away...

In response to: Re: Compassion

AppleblossomSenior Contributor22 Sept 2015, 4:48 pm AEST

Re: Compassion

Yes dealing with things calmly is helpful. I have to work hard (ie lie down rest and meditate or pray) to regulate my emotions to remain calm yet also have enough sensitivity to be available artistically and as a teacher.

I am glad you responded @Misty-Mirrors .. Do you read any saints or theologians?

yes my father's behaviour has been confusing but I am ok about it now ... the funny thing was that when my brother returned from the foster family my father started doing it to him ... I felt fleeting feeling of jealousy .. not really .. because it was obviously weird but I wasnt being the special loved one. I never got to talk about that aspect of behaviour with my brother before he died ...

My mother blocked me in so many things ... but her Chrisitian spirituality in her style was deep ... its just that she guilted and lied to herself about me .. which I didnt realise was that bad until I was an adult and mother etc and betrayed ...my mother was siphoning off my knowledge, material things and relationships ... it was very gradual ... I always tried to keep the family together but now I think I would have done just as well if she had left us in the orphanage.

Religion has helped me in 2 ways ..

1) Social Justice .. being very poor ... food hampers etc ... STV charity house for 6 months in 1966 before the orphanages ..visiting nuns .. visiting the sick and the poor ....being caring instead of angry ... then I put a lot back in through STV as an adult .. though have pulled away from that now.. but proud my son helped on soup vans and giving out christmas hampers for a few years.

2) being part of the music liturgy .. oragnist from 13-16 and then went back to it for periodically as an adult. Singing in choir has helped me calm down and stabilise and integrate the terrible tragedies of my siblings' deaths.

I am sorry that your mother was not good for you ... it is very difficult the delicacy and problems that mothers have to both bear and the problems they cause when things are not right.

I am glad @NikNik clarified that it was ok to discuss beliefs and religious things .. when I was training in psychodrama direction and counselling ... I knew the spiritual orientations of many of them... I think it is due to the fact that people can have opposing views and attitudes that SANE forum is careful .. but its a huge part of life so needs to be open for discussion ... we all had good will on this thread ...

thanks @DefiantPanda for joining in.

I can also relate to you in that my mother made me to sleep between her and my father from 8-10 ... boy was I glad when I had night time space to myself.

In response to: Compassion

Misty-MirrorsSenior Contributor25 Sept 2015, 8:27 am AEST

Re: Compassion

Hello Defiant Panda.
Yes, it is easier to run away. I guess I don't like being beaten. Having said that, I rarely win. Do you run away?
Misty.

In response to: Compassion

Misty-MirrorsSenior Contributor25 Sept 2015, 8:58 am AEST

Re: Compassion

Hello Appleblossom.
I pray, do relaxation exercises and anxiety release exercises.
I am busy reading the Missal most mornings. It is new to me. I haven't read any theologians. I read one woman saint in detail.
I still talk about the inappropriate behaviour of my parents and my older brother. I talk about them in support groups and to a friend. I am glad that you have been able to forgive your relatives.
I am sorry that your mother treated you inappropriately. Have you ever studied codependency. It was a major break thru for me!
Christianity has helped me greatly and continues to help me. I try to increase my involvement in church activities.I was rejected from a Catholic church for reading. I was told my voice is too monotone. I don't look enthusiastic enough. I was told by another Catholic church that I am not welcome as a Communion Minister either. I am trying to volunteer as a waiter in a Catholic cafe. I have worked in a committee distributing food coupons.
I am aware that discussion of religion easily offends some people.
I think it is abuse to make a daughter aged 8 to 10 sleep between husband and wife! I learned that in codependency books.
I hope your life is better now.
Misty.

In response to: Re: Compassion

NebSenior Contributor25 Sept 2015, 10:24 am AEST

Re: Compassion

Hello. It is nice to find that religion HAS helped people. It has for me too. I left the RCC in my teenaged years determined to pursue my own damnation. I was becoming rather unglued in my head at that time. I was eventually diagnosed with DID after many years in the world of mental health issues

i was back working as a shift worker and studying Buddhism, when a doctor started visiting my area ( I was usually alone with my sleeping patients) and discussed theology and a wide and varied subject list. I eventually went to a Mass which was the Tridentine and the rest is history. I also went to Confession, where I was gently led through about 3 decades. It was a wonderfully cathartic experience. Finding my way back to my Faith has provided boundaries that I thought would chafe but have been empowering, the strength to move to a new town and a new life and friends. I have discovered a contentment I would not thought possible.

In response to: Re: Compassion

AppleblossomSenior Contributor25 Sept 2015, 1:29 pm AEST

Re: Compassion

Dear Misty

I am glad that you have found some good social roles to fulfill to be part of a community offline too. Unfortunately whenever 2 or more are gathered it is not always in His name and often there are hiccups. I hope you enjoy the cafe. We have a cafe in our church where the coffee is lousy but the service and people are great... so it is worth it. It helped get over my fear of exclusion by sitting there often at quiet times and busy times and watch the flow of of groups and singles and sometimes sit there chatting with choir people. It helped me with the fear of going into a room full of the buzz of conversation.

Teresa of Avil and John of the Cross are too popular saints that I like. I first read the Dialogues of Catherine of Sienna. The language and form of thought is often quaint and needs to be read in historical context ... but they are all simply struggles of people to be good.

I have studied role theory too it is a part of Psychodrama ...

I like reading Buddhism too ..Walpole Rahula is an excellent intro .. Ashvagosha ..and the Tao Te Ching. I started western philospohy at uni but dropped it as it was too dry ...but still know Plato and Bertrand Russell etc...

I read because I love ideas and frankly people havent been too nice to me ...and it is not because I am paranoid but that people are often cliquey, dont care, or cant be bothered.

I have worked with the concept of fear and courage greatly in many ways and feel I can tell the difference.

Thank you for saying it was wrong what mother did re sleeping ... in the end she betrayed me a lot more than just that ... but that was one sign ...it certainly was not all my father's fault.

I dont know that I forgive all my relatives .. I move between anger and understanding ... and because of the severity of the outcomes maybe thats the best that it will be.

Sorry if my posts are too long.

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