Struggling

Hi,

I have never used a forum like this before, I usually deal with my problems independently, but I have been really struggling recently and have wanted someone to talk to, so here I am. I have multiple mental illnesses which I tend to just plod along with and do my best to have a functional life, but sometimes I find it hard to cope.

About a week ago, depression set in very suddenly. I have been feeling overwhelmingly lonely since and am completely lost. Loneliness has always been there but I tend to push it aside and I guess I don't really deal with it. I seem to now be dealing with 10 years of backed up loneliness all at once. I don't have any close friends and have been single for a long time. I have a few work friends but I don't live near anybody and have very minimal spare time so we don't socialise outside of work. It can be upsetting sometimes to see that collegues are meeting up, but to not be invited out. I often feel rejected and feel that people talk about me.

I have been so desperate for someone to talk to me. I keep looking at facebook, hoping that someone wants to talk, but noone does. It feels devastating to want interaction and a sense of connection to someone, but not be able to find it. I feel completely unwanted and feel like I will never have someone in my life to share a close bond with. I am so empty and isolated and I feel worthless. Due to my current distress, I have been unable to complete any work/ study and have fallen behind, which is adding more stress, but I can't seem to concentrate enough to do anything. I'm completely lost and I don't know what to do. I'm really struggling to cope at the moment.

I'm sorry for such a long post. Thank you to anyone who reads it.