MaggieSenior Contributor
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Taking the plunge
10240 replies
In response to: Taking the plunge
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
🙁
I imagine the mix of feelings you're experiencing @Maggie. I'm sorry there's evidence as there is. Seeing that might have been very confronting 🙁 Do you think you'll mention it today?
Fear as a driver is very understandable and something you're not alone with. Are you more afraid of doing this today or of not doing this today (big question - out of curiosity and only if you're up for answering). I remember how awful the feeling was, of being in a position as you are where there's no choice that feels OK. It sucks so much. I hear and feel the betrayal feeling too, knowing how complicated that is.
🙁
I imagine the mix of feelings you're experiencing @Maggie. I'm sorry there's evidence as there is. Seeing that might have been very confronting 🙁 Do you think you'll mention it today?
Fear as a driver is very understandable and something you're not alone with. Are you more afraid of doing this today or of not doing this today (big question - out of curiosity and only if you're up for answering). I remember how awful the feeling was, of being in a position as you are where there's no choice that feels OK. It sucks so much. I hear and feel the betrayal feeling too, knowing how complicated that is.
🙁
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
It’s strange @CheerBear , but it feels like I’ve been given no chance here. I know there is always choice, but sometimes, there just doesn’t seem to be.
Unfortunately for people like me, it takes something like this, to make a move. Emotional scars don’t show, otherwise this person would be locked up long ago.
I couldn’t see a way out. Same with the marriage.
I’m feeling as dumb as ever, and to blame...again. Round and round we go.
I am both @CheerBear afraid of doing it, and afraid of not doing it.
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
Second for me now too ☕
It sounds kind of like what I experienced and call an impossible choice @Maggie. Where there's not really a way out (not without a lot of difficulty), where no option seems OK and when it's a decision motivated by huge and understandable fear. It's stuck vs stucker maybe.
The situation and other person's choices have caused this jumble, not you, but it can be so hard not to turn it on yourself wondering what you did wrong, why you deserved it etc perhaps (again, my experience anyway). It's such a messy, yucky place to be 🙁
I'm thinking counsellor will be extra supportive today maybe? 🤞
It sounds kind of like what I experienced and call an impossible choice @Maggie. Where there's not really a way out (not without a lot of difficulty), where no option seems OK and when it's a decision motivated by huge and understandable fear. It's stuck vs stucker maybe.
The situation and other person's choices have caused this jumble, not you, but it can be so hard not to turn it on yourself wondering what you did wrong, why you deserved it etc perhaps (again, my experience anyway). It's such a messy, yucky place to be 🙁
I'm thinking counsellor will be extra supportive today maybe? 🤞
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
I think underneath it all @CheerBear i felt all along that this is what I deserved.
How do we get this messed up??
Counsellor is coming early today, and yes, extra supportive.
I might look for some colour later today. Play with paint. I made a really nice blue, a cornflower shade. I’ve had trouble finding a nice pink and blue. It’s a matter of playing I think.
What are your plans for today after the crew head out?
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
You didnt deserve this @Maggie but I get its how you feel right now. Layers and layers to that 🙁 Very glad to hear counsellor is there with you all the way.
Cornflower sounds lovely. So good to hear you're thinking of colour and of play. Really hope that's a feel good thing for you.
I'm heading out with a friend for a few hours today to help get some things for a new, empty house. The house actually happened and with relative speed (though it has felt like forever for the person who hasn't had a bed of their own for a number of weeks). I think it shows that it was a decision made pre-me just actioned post-me maybe. That's what I see and feel anyway. Sorry, that's a bit cryptic. Still feel very wrong talking about it but wanting to share too 😑
Cornflower sounds lovely. So good to hear you're thinking of colour and of play. Really hope that's a feel good thing for you.
I'm heading out with a friend for a few hours today to help get some things for a new, empty house. The house actually happened and with relative speed (though it has felt like forever for the person who hasn't had a bed of their own for a number of weeks). I think it shows that it was a decision made pre-me just actioned post-me maybe. That's what I see and feel anyway. Sorry, that's a bit cryptic. Still feel very wrong talking about it but wanting to share too 😑
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
Out with a friend getting things for a new ‘ home’ , sounds exciting @CheerBear
No bed of their own is as tough as it gets @CheerBear . I’m so pleased you are there with and for them. Support is so important. Maybe you will share a coffee etc, strength for the task, kind of stuff. I can feel some big giggles coming through the screen, hopefully some bargains also. Enjoy. ‘Moments’.
Yes, some colour is necessary today, but I might dig out some garden stuff too. It’s looking hot, so garden might not happen.
Did the lawn get mowed at your place yesterday?
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
It is exciting @Maggie, and full of feels for him. I've been there (similar stuff, not the same though) and remember it well. The close of one chapter and the start of another. It's a jumble and a mix also (are there any parts of being human that are not conplicated?!). I really, really like him and that's only growing. It's scary and full on, but exciting too. Complicated.
Garden also sounds good! Mine didn't get done. I had a couple of appointments yesterday then spent some time calling uni and trying to negotiate a way to complete the hours I'd have left, which was hard and triggering. I think the mowing will be a tomorrow job probably. It's grown so quickly with some rain and heat and it's feeling a bit overwhelming now.
I'd better fly and do the getting ready for school thing. Big time thinking of you today. Safe landing space here if you'd like it later ❤ You got this (even if it doesn't feel like it)
Garden also sounds good! Mine didn't get done. I had a couple of appointments yesterday then spent some time calling uni and trying to negotiate a way to complete the hours I'd have left, which was hard and triggering. I think the mowing will be a tomorrow job probably. It's grown so quickly with some rain and heat and it's feeling a bit overwhelming now.
I'd better fly and do the getting ready for school thing. Big time thinking of you today. Safe landing space here if you'd like it later ❤ You got this (even if it doesn't feel like it)
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
ethSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
Thinking of you today @Maggie and hope you get your task achieved with support of your counsellor. I think it's really good that you are taking a stand and saying 'no more'. But I also understand the self-questioning about why it happened. Been there. I want to reassure you that in no way is it your fault or anything you deserved in any way. Inexcusible behaviour on the other party involved. Take care xx
Happy for you @CheerBear about head over heels feeling.
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
Hi everybody 👋💕
I just wanted to stop in briefly with a 💜💕 for what you're battling @Maggie .... looks like NPD is at the heart of our issues over this way, and in the learning about it I have a new appreciation for what you've got going on ..... it really is a mind-bending realisation to try to come to terms with ..... but sure explains all the
confusion, sabotage, sudden rages to throw you off-balance / off-trail, etc .... and I can see it clearly in what you have been describing over time now too.
Bestest hugs and braveness-sharing coming your way Hon.
💜🌷💜🌷💜🌷💜💪
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
Thinking of you @Maggie, hoping you went OK. Tough stuff ❤
Hope there's colour in your afternoon
Hope there's colour in your afternoon
