Taking the plunge

Thanks @Maggie for listening and for getting it as you do so well. I felt very rattled by it at the time. Heart racing, voice shaky etc. It wasn't an ideal situation especially after the week I've had but I did my best to listen, respond not react, diffuse etc. and it was a great learning experience really. We have a big group meeting tomorrow morning (instead of the 1:1 yesterday). It'll be interesting to see what happens next.

It sounds like there is some good in your relationship with kind of friend even though it's tricky. I hope it's ok for you (gentle-ish) to wonder about yourself in that context. I think we all have tricky relationships and things we'd maybe prefer to not be part of if our situations were different. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

Gig went super thanks 🙂 I really should stop questioning myself every gig-morning as it's a good thing to be part of generally and I get a lot from it too. No boots though. I go 'toned down me'. The self restraint that takes... 😆 One day when I'm a wee bit more confident I'll be less toned down I think. Definitely will draw on glitter power for the meeting tomorrow morning 😉

Wondering how your day has been (as I race out to pick up the kids). Hope there has been good in it 💕☕

The @CheerBear toned down version. 😁😁😁

I don’t think any relationship is easy, or should I say, they are very tricky for me. I think there’s give and take in there somewhere. Kind of friend knows she will get away with bad behaviour with me and others. Unfortunately for me, I can never be one step ahead, as my mind doesn’t think that way. Sometimes, that can be more annoying. Like all of us though, she’s a mixture of good and bad, and we all need acceptance.

She does know now, that I will take so much, then I will back off. I can’t argue, it’s not me. And like you in your meeting, heart racing, voice shaking and high pitched, gotta hate that one. 😂😂😂

Big meet tomorrow with glitter. 😁😁😁

I’ve done some more rocks, not too happy with them though. Pressed some leaves. Time to make some cards. I might do some for the fund raiser.

Hope you have a nice evening with LF. Is the hot water still working? I hope so. 🤞🤞🤞

Hi @CheerBear kettle on here. ☕️☕️☕️☕️

Thinking a lot about relationships @CheerBear. Our conversation yesterday. I don’t think being mouthy and aggressive is anything like kind of friend. Though I struggle to think of you like that. Kind of friend feels entitled and then some. NPD to her backbone. My mother was the same. Both need to be the centre of attention, and get their way, no matter who, and what.

I was talking to my counsellor yesterday and we talked about feeling of losing it. How I feel most days now. Her version goes like , people don’t get up one day and lose it. It takes pressure upon pressure. For me, might be you too, months of being ignored untruths, a wearing down of coping stuff. Basic human needs not being considered nor met. That kind of stuff.

Anyway, there’s a fragile side to kind of friend, she would hate to think I see glimpses of it. Not goo at all, don’t know a word for it. Not soft, but maybe a place she can be hurt.

Anyway, a big conversation to start the day. I’ve had some light entertainment overnight.

Hows today looking. Meeting for you today.

It’s hard to be a one thing at a time person, when more than one thing keeps getting thrown at you.

Sorry about the 4am wake up panic feels. 💜💜

I hope support worker works out. Really tough stuff for you.💜💜💜

Yes kind of friend can be triggering, but so many things are. I just do the best I can. I feel I need to look ahead with everything these days. Something as simple as cancelling food here, could have a domino effect and make life harder. I’m bumping into brick walls everywhere.

I saw a beautiful sky during the night. Light/dark grey clouds, with the moon light peeping through. Some nights are lovely.

Topup. ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️

@CheerBear