Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Let's do Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
Good morning Forum Land,
So... @CheerBear @Zoe7 and I have decided to embark on an adventure of working through the DBT skills training manual together but not. That is, we all bought the manual at the same time, but we will probably work through it each in our own muddled puddled confuddled way. Consequently, who knows how this thread will end up looking. That's ok, that's why it's an adventure. 
We would super love other Forumites to join us on this adventure if they want to. You definitely don't need to own the manual to join us, though if you want to, this is the book we are working from: DBT Skills Training Manual (second edition) by Marsha Linehan published in 2015. The manual has LOTS of worksheets in it, but happily, you can download those for free from this website: https://www.guilford.com/companion-site/DBT-Skills-Training-Manual-Second-Edition/9781462516995
It is important to be aware that this manual is not a self-help book. This is the manual designed to train therapists in how to deliver DBT to clients. Therefore, it can make for challenging reading at times. Personally, I find it hugely validating reading the way in which Linehan addresses the all-too-common negative and stigmatising attitudes that many mental health professionals have towards clients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). However, others may find it distressing realising just how pervasive these attitudes can be across the mental health profession.
DBT was originally developed specifically to treat people with BPD. However, there is now a strong evidence base showing that is effective across a wide range of mental health issues. This is due to the core focus of DBT being on emotion regulation. DBT has also been shown to be effective in helping non-clinical populations manage their emotions. It may be of particular interest to some people in Forum Land, that DBT skills training has been shown to be effective in helping the carers of those with mental health issues cope with the challenges associated with that caring role.
As I said, I'm really not sure how this adventure is going to pan out...but we will never know if we don't try, will we! The manual begins with an introductory chapter outlining the theoretical basis for DBT. It has lots of nice little subheadings which breaks it up into easily manageable chunks. Thus I'm thinking @CheerBear and @Zoe7, that we could tackle the introduction based on these subheadings. Ideally I would love to do a little bit each day, but given the muddle that is my world, that is unlikely to happen. I expect it is far more likely that some weeks I will have a lot to say, and at other times, weeks may go by where I have nothing to say. I am guessing it will be the same for you...and that is a bazillion percent ok.
I superly duperly hope that some other Forumites decide to join us. But if not, that's ok too. I'm just as happy playing by myself.
And on that note, let the adventure begin... 
Finding your way in the DBT adventure.
The following is a bit of a guide to navigating your way around what I anticipate will end up being quite a lengthy thread. The link will take you to the relevant page. Here in Forum Land, there are ten posts per page so you may need to scroll down a little way to find the actual post. The relevant headings are in large blue font to help you find them easily.
What is DBT? (This bit is on this first page so just scroll down).
Understanding Emotion Dysregulation
Are People With BPD Manipulative?
The Consequences of Emotion Dysregulation
Orientation, Goals and Guidelines
Pros and cons of learning and using DBT skills
Pros and cons of using DBT skills versus self-harming
Mindfulness "What" Skills: Observe
Mindfulness "What" Skills: Describe and Participate
Mindfulness "How" Skills: Part One - Nonjudgmentally
I spent most of the session curled up on her couch under a blanket, with my own soft toy and her teddy bear and weighted toy. I also got to choose which of the many other sensory objects she has, that I wanted to fidget with all through the session. She asked me early on in the session if there was anything in her office that made me feel unsafe - there wasn't. She also told me I could wander around and look at and touch anything in the office except for her desk. This approach made me feel safe. We probably won't talk about anything too deep for quite a while. Her focus right now is on helping me to feel safe, and yet I know we will establish that sense of safety without her ever asking me why I don't feel safe. We both know why I don't feel safe - because like you, the world has not been a safe place for me. Nope, I definitely don't understand why any psychologist would think you can make yourself feel safe by changing your thinking. The idea of changing feelings by changing thoughts is very CBT-ish. DBT (and some other therapeutic approaches like ACT) were developed because it was recognised that while CBT is fantastic for treating some issues (e.g. depression), it simply doesn't work with others (such as BPD/complex PTSD). The so-called "third-wave" cognitive therapies such as DBT and ACT build on CBT by incorporating mindfulness. That is, they still include a lot of CBT-based skills, but they also look at ideas like accepting emotions rather than challenging them. I wonder if it would be helpful to do some of your own research on the effects of trauma on the brain??? You mentioned that you find your psychologist really nice, so perhaps this is something you could talk through with her???
