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the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor21 Sept 2017, 10:09 pm AEST

the longest wait while being petrified

So on wednesday I went to see my gp about a skin spot I was finding to be quite suspicious and the news turned out to be not what I expected.
They want the spot surgically removed urgently as in tuesday unless others cancel and i can get in earlier. They want the whole thing and as it looks like its spreading already they want more than just the top taken off then if it comes back malignanat more tests to see how far its spread then removed those areas

the worrying part is i dont know how long its been there for and because ive noticed it change twice its a very bad sign. Unintentionally coming off her was fear. Fear from others makes me worse and she was sending off alot of that. She pointed out 2 other points that she noticed that are really not good and are often seen in skin cancers.

Im so scared and it seems like tuesday is taking forever to get here. Its really not easy to sit with and accept. Im bloody pertrified!

@Former-Member

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In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

Unknown userMember08 Oct 2017, 10:07 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@outlander,it's time you started making these everyday decisions for yourself.You have shown you are quite capable, got insight, responsible and know the direction to go.As I said with my therapy,I let someone else drive me,they drove me straight over the cliff.Working out the problem to your insomnia and the action needed might be a start...Not that I can probably f**** talk.lol or cry.

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

Unknown userMember08 Oct 2017, 10:08 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@outlanderI agree with Sans, don't overthink things and continually run them through your head as it will make it worse. BUT, that is exaclty what I did this morning, so I understand that it is easier said than done.

To me you do seem very 'down' lately so maybe a review of your medication is in order to help.

So I struggle to motivate myself to do anything during the day so my Psych suggested I try and do something every day.

So the idea is to start of small, think about things that are really beneficial, even though you may not enjoy them as much as you once did. So for the first 3 days or so, it might only be 10 minutes, but you try and build up to an hour or two. I am only at 40 minutes and been stuck there for awhile, but psych says thats ok, it's just about trying to do something small every day. Not sure, but might work for you too.

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 10:10 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

I just want it to stop @Sans911 the tears feel like acid burning at least theres a feeling. But not a good one.
Ive held onto thst for so long it feels like a lie.

I just want it to stop. The sufferring to stop.

Im glad your here. You offer comfort even when i cant feel anything ❤

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

Sans911Senior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 10:13 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@outlander I want the suffering to stop for you too. It's so much for such a young person to put up with, let alone anyone else.

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 10:16 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

I guess i can ask the psych. I dont have any direction thats the problem @Former-Member i dont rely on them but when i go in there i have no idea what to say.
Ill speak to go about a medication review as well on wednesday
Thanks

@Former-Member thank you. I dont know what to think. I have no life. I dont know how to change it. But li1s suggestions ill take into consideration as well as yours and others.

I do things everyday. I just have no life in me at all. I just dont enjoy anything. Im forcing myself to do things even though i dont want to.
Sigh.. i need a life

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 10:18 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

Its ok @Sans911 i have you and others here and while its not physical its mental and eventually when i fall asleep i know youll probably be laying right next to me. Nell does lots of hand holding too

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

Unknown userMember08 Oct 2017, 10:28 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

You have nothing to be sorry for @Sans911,as stated before it's the way I feel and the fact that you have expressed and clarified / understood my problems quite well.

The only good thing about the anxiety past week or so is it's made me walk,besides stopping to bend over with a anxiety attack.Usually with the depression I can't put one cut in front of the other, standing there like a statue "numb".

My mother is stressing me,I feel a crisis point is coming,as stated with @outlander this afternoon,I'm struggling with putting up with her mentally.The only good thing this stage is I'm off the pressure of job search ,if I don't get the job,but it won't be healthy for me because I know she's not far off the nursing home which means I would have to keep this house going financially.

I'm overweight Sans911,can't weigh myself due to trauma,I'm 176 CMS in height and big boned,I want to get rid of the stomach the most from stress and I had high cholesterol in March too.It was easier when my mother was away I was less stressed.Thanks @Sans911

In response to: Re: the longest wait while being petrified

Unknown userMember08 Oct 2017, 10:30 pm AEDT