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So on wednesday I went to see my gp about a skin spot I was finding to be quite suspicious and the news turned out to be not what I expected. They want the spot surgically removed urgently as in tuesday unless others cancel and i can get in earlier. They want the whole thing and as it looks like its spreading already they want more than just the top taken off then if it comes back malignanat more tests to see how far its spread then removed those areas
the worrying part is i dont know how long its been there for and because ive noticed it change twice its a very bad sign. Unintentionally coming off her was fear. Fear from others makes me worse and she was sending off alot of that. She pointed out 2 other points that she noticed that are really not good and are often seen in skin cancers.
Im so scared and it seems like tuesday is taking forever to get here. Its really not easy to sit with and accept. Im bloody pertrified!
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
: the longest wait while being petrified @Former-Member oh hun, I'm really sorry. It wasnt my intention to distress you, as I know how sensitive are. I guess there was a bit too much brutal truth there and I overstepped the mark. I'm really, really sorry. No, I have no idea of the trauma you've been through, but it was obviously extremely painful and damaging to you and sense of worth. It's terrible that you have suffered so much, in so many ways. I can understand why you gave up at some point. But I just wish you will keep fighting as hard as it is. You are so worth it. I understand about obesity and comfort eating,as I'm still overweight now and struggle to loose weight. And well done on the recent weight loss. You have so much stress in your life @Former-Member. I hope one day you get some peace of mind and respite from all you are going through. Again, please accept my humble apologies.
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
Thanks @Former-Member no one has answers. Li1 pointed out my reality. I dont have any friends. I dont have a life off here. I dont. And i know i dont. Ive been trying so hard to do better and i just cant 😢😢😢
In response to: Re: the longest wait while being petrified
Unknown userMember
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
@outlander, I don't think Li1 meant it like that hun. You do have a life off here, your have your sisters and your Pop (and you mum if you want to add her). I think Li1 was just making a suggestion to try and get out more instead of being on here.
But I understand the need to be on here too. Why wouldn't you come on here when there are people that care about you and you don't have to explain yourself, people just get it
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
I know what she meant @Former-Member Im trying so hars to make a normal life. Or to do things in the real world but its just not happening. I do my usual routine and have no joy in it whatsoever. Shes right. I just dont have a life and i need one. I just dont know how. I guess thats what ill talk about tomorrow. The trauma work im doing is boring and getting me no where. I live under a rock in the deepest cave you can find and it needs to change i just have no idea how. And the ways i can think of just arent possible
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
Ideas on what to do @Former-Member@Sans911@Former-Member Or maybe i should just sit here and contemplate
In response to: Re: the longest wait while being petrified
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
what are you interested in @outlander ? what are you passionate about or enthusiastic about?? start there...
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
Nothing @MDT nothing makes that fire burn within. Its gone. My mother showed me a horse for sale tonight and it did nothing to me. I use to get excited at the prospect of a new horse but it did nothing. 'Hes cute. Dont really have the money though' was my answer. Its not about affording it. It doesnt bring fire to my life. I cant find anything that does
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
@outlander don't sit there and overthink. It'll just make you anxious. Sounds like you're feeling a little numb. I know I sound like a broken record but can you find something to distract yourself? Writing, drawing, listening to music?
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
Im on bed now @Sans911 its 10pm here I cant stop my eyes from leaking. They are drowning my pillows and i cant feel a thing. I feel nothing anymore.
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
Oh @outlander hugs and hugs my sweet lil Sis. Cry yourself out; it's good for you. I'm right next to you. It's going to okay eventually. Just hold on to that thought.
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