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So on wednesday I went to see my gp about a skin spot I was finding to be quite suspicious and the news turned out to be not what I expected. They want the spot surgically removed urgently as in tuesday unless others cancel and i can get in earlier. They want the whole thing and as it looks like its spreading already they want more than just the top taken off then if it comes back malignanat more tests to see how far its spread then removed those areas
the worrying part is i dont know how long its been there for and because ive noticed it change twice its a very bad sign. Unintentionally coming off her was fear. Fear from others makes me worse and she was sending off alot of that. She pointed out 2 other points that she noticed that are really not good and are often seen in skin cancers.
Im so scared and it seems like tuesday is taking forever to get here. Its really not easy to sit with and accept. Im bloody pertrified!
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
Unknown userMember
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
@outlander Thank you for caring about me, I totally appreciate you. Yes I slept most of the nite. I decided to go back to bed with 4 of my babies faithfully sleeping near me. I has the most pain free experience I have had in years? I must have had a prayer answered. I believe it has a lot to do with all the love & support here in Forum. I'm watch a movie on & off here with my Ruby near me. Cymbalta is a antidepressant that is wonderful for people like you & I with Chronic pain. It also takes away the need to over eat, has no bad side effects, & you do not crave high calorie foods. I thought you may like this info? Luv & Peace
Bella XO 🙂
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
I do very much care about you @Former-Member ❤ im glad you managed some sleep and that you had your fur babies with you too. The forums are great arent they. Hope todays a good one for you ❤
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
@outlander Morning lil Sis. I heard you had a rough night. I'm sorry that that was the case. I had a pretty horrid day yesterday, so I had to stay away from the forums. Plus I slept most of the day and night away. How's things this morning?
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
Please dont worry if your not here. You have to look after you first and i know weekends are hard for you ❤ yes rough night and a very rough day as i said alot of my reality outloud and well crashed as u can imagine @Sans911 ❤
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
@outlander how are you doing now?
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
Wearing the mask for the kids @Sans911 last day of school holidays. Stupid psych tomorrow. Im thinking about hospital but i dont want to go. Maybe i should ask about a respite thst doesnt require a 4 week stay that might work like yours where we can leave but have the supports there
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
@outlander - I know you don't like hospital hun. I get that very much. But it is justified for you, and it may help. Yes, also see if you can find a respite place. Central Coast or Sydney perhaps. Ask your local Community mh centre if you have one nearby
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
I dont know if hospital would help though. I know it gives me a break and time to think and rest in peace but ill be coming back out to the same thing so im trying to make long term changes too. The last time i asked about other respite they said ive only got the the one thats 2 hrs away from me and thats a 4 week rehab stay. Or a 3 night stay in hospital in a short stay area. Central coast and sydney are pretty far away from me. Im stuck in a crappy area for mh help. The 3 night stay i have to go through emergency. Im just ao damn exhausted of not being ok. Its such hard work!
@Sans911
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
@outlander I know you're looking for long term changing, but forgive me if I'm overstepping the mark, it seems like you want everything better now. And you know anyway that's nots going to happen unfortunately. Your recovery will take some time, partly because of your current environment & partly because of the complex nature of your past. If you try to rush things along, you either end up burying stiff again, only to have it raise its ugly head later in life or you put yourself at risk of more pain & suffering than you are having now. Getting better is like chipping away at the wall we put up to protect ourselves from hurt. To take that down you have to careful or everything destabilises.
I know you're exhausted, and I understand you are tired from not being ok. I'm there in that situation too. I'm completely fed up. Nothing much helps, and every day is a battle to survive, to even feel good. I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom, but that would only fill you with false hope. You just have to try to hang on, sweetheart and keep trying the best you can. Which I know you are doing. Hugs lil Sis
In response to: the longest wait while being petrified
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: the longest wait while being petrified
You have and always do give words of wisdom @Sans911 I know i have to do things slowly. I just feel like its going way to slow. Like im not actuallh getting anywhere. I mean i go to psych and gp and all the rest ro get better that way but i just feel like im getting bo where. Yes a struggle to survive. I want to live and feel alive too not just be a walking robot... im either full of emotio and i dont know what to do with them or no emotions at all. Is it really going to be this slow the whole way... i know this will never stop. And itll always be baby steps but a littlw bit of movement would be nice.
I love your hugs btw and i love the way you 'speak' its quite comforting ❤❤❤
Im having weird worrying feelings today though. I went to the bath room and aince im wearing singlets atm as i find them to not rub as much as normal tvs and just had a weird feeling come over. I dont really know what it is but im worried that maybe they didnt get it all. They seemed pretty thorough and extensive to me but i keep thinking theres still bad cells there
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