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the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor21 Sept 2017, 10:09 pm AEST

the longest wait while being petrified

So on wednesday I went to see my gp about a skin spot I was finding to be quite suspicious and the news turned out to be not what I expected.
They want the spot surgically removed urgently as in tuesday unless others cancel and i can get in earlier. They want the whole thing and as it looks like its spreading already they want more than just the top taken off then if it comes back malignanat more tests to see how far its spread then removed those areas

the worrying part is i dont know how long its been there for and because ive noticed it change twice its a very bad sign. Unintentionally coming off her was fear. Fear from others makes me worse and she was sending off alot of that. She pointed out 2 other points that she noticed that are really not good and are often seen in skin cancers.

Im so scared and it seems like tuesday is taking forever to get here. Its really not easy to sit with and accept. Im bloody pertrified!

@Former-Member

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In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor30 Sept 2017, 6:07 pm AEST

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@Owlunar
I cant even bring myself to say it. Its just the 'c' word for now. It was a total shock and well I guess todays a product of that. Yes a few panic attacks that day.
Yes I am alone, even with this house full of people im alone. Yes please dont say anything more about her. Its not your fault at all so dont worry about it and you havent done anything wrong, I really just know how she is and I wish I could change it but I cant and im the one who has to change now.
We can hold hand through this uncomfortable time if you like. Ive got fingers too so I have plenty to share around for others too.

thank you @Shaz51

thank you @MDT its really hard to digest. not really sure how to process it tbh but thank you

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor30 Sept 2017, 6:12 pm AEST

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@Former-Member
I love you too. I wish I could say that things will be ok, but I cant guarentee that. I thought these reuslts would be ok too but they arent.
My mother is just my mother. There really isnt anything more to say.

Yeah im all that. Its bad. Pretty bad.

Yeah its being treated, shouldnt get anyworse as long as they get it all the next time around. My foot im on constant arthrits medications now and it was my neck that took the brunt of the accident along with concussion and migraines and they are all cleared up now too. Ill always have neck issues from the slipped disk and dengenerative state.

Niqua if I could let myself go I wouldnt be ok at all. Probabaly that blubbering mess all over the floor or hiding in my bed away from the world which Is what I feel like doing but I have to very releiant kids with me for another three days yet.
Thank you for your kind words

In response to: Re: the longest wait while being petrified

Unknown userMember01 Oct 2017, 9:44 am AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

Good morning my beautiful cyber grandgirl Claire @outlander

I think this saying is perfect for you, and that's what I wish for you; a love that is so deep it has no bottom

Niqua

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

Sans911Senior Contributor01 Oct 2017, 10:33 am AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@outlander Morning sweetheart, how are you doing? Silly question I know, you're probably feeling shite. Just letting you you know that I'm here for you.

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor01 Oct 2017, 11:19 am AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

Aww Niqua thats really sweet. Thank you ❤ @Former-Member

Goodmorning sis @Sans911 you guessed right. Ive only just gotten out of bed. I want to just hide away. To dissappear. How can someone be so tired despite sleeping or resting. I just feel so exhausted.. at least this day is half over.
Thank you for being here. I really do appreciate it esp since i know your having a rough time yourself ❤

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

Sans911Senior Contributor01 Oct 2017, 11:29 am AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@outlander you're exhausted hun because emotional stress is draining. I understand the feeling of wanting to run away or disappear. That's all I've wanted to do this week. We might be able to find a big wombat hole in the Nullarbor together to hide out for a bit.

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor01 Oct 2017, 12:28 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@Sans911 lets find that wombat hole today. All i can feel is tears trying to come out but nothing comes out. I already had to discipline the youngest one for being such a cow this morning because what im doing isnt good enough for her.
2 days until my mother gets back and then im thinking hospital. Im.not any better than yesterday at all. Feel worse really. I can hardly move. Im stuck. Defeated.

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

Sans911Senior Contributor01 Oct 2017, 12:52 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@outlander - just steady as it goes. Give yourself and your sister a little bit of breathing space. Can you give her something to do to occupy her for a while, so you get a break? She's pushing boundaries with you, and she probably knows which buttons to push because you're easily irritated. Hang in there hun. Not much longer now. And I'm glad you're thinking of the hospital. I know it's not ideally what you want, but you're at breaking point. And you need someone to care for you. Plus a decent rest away from all the stresses. I understand you might be worried about your job, but sometimes you have to come first. Your boss has been understanding before; hopefully she will again. Hugs ❤️ 💜 💙

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

outlanderSenior Contributor01 Oct 2017, 1:05 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

Shes just bored. I understand that but ive been doing everything possible that i can think of. I just took her out so she can blow some bubbles. We went through 2 bottles. We are back inside watching cartoons now while i do the dishes. I really need to do some more washing but i dont think i should after yesterday. Prob should give it a day of rest (my sutures that is)
Yeah unfortunately hospital is now an option. I can feel myself getting worse. I thought yesterday day was the lowest but todays worse so it means hospital has to be an option to keep myself safe.
Ive already taken the next 2 weeks off work anyway becausr of surgury on friday plus ill have more sutures so have to stay away from horses again.
Im lacking alot of energy so badly. Everything just hurts. Its like an ache in the bones deep down.
I hope your going ok too. Love you
Xoxo @Sans911

In response to: the longest wait while being petrified

Sans911Senior Contributor01 Oct 2017, 1:27 pm AEDT

Re: the longest wait while being petrified

@outlander just hang in there. Try to stay grounded and safe. Now you have made that decision I think you will feel relief. Nothing to be ashamed of the need for hospital admission. You've done remarkably well to try to hold everything together so far. You need time out hun. I'm being lazy right now, so I'm hauling myself to the shower and a walk. I'll be back online later today.

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