RE: Darkness surrounds me

Thanks @Sans911 but its ok. Morning @Sans911 @Faith-and-Hope @MDT @Bunniekins @outlander.

So had psychiatrist appointment at 9am.

Firstly, you have to be nuts to drive into Melbourne everyday in peak hour traffic!! I had to pull over twice just to get my sh*t back together. Luckily I allowed myself extra time.

So meds first - Morning med has stayed the same but increased. Not having many side effects to this one to lets see how it goes. (Only started it Sunday anyway b/c had to wean of the other one). Night med has had another one added to it to try and help me get sleep. Also a different prn ememrgency med is being tried.So went through the risky behaviour I had been doing. Was sort of like a "show and tell"................ Threatened (yeah pretty much) with forced inpatient program if I didn't stop some of my risky behviour. He asked me if I promised to stop (Why ask a stupid q's like that to me) I told him I am not going to promise him anything. I told him I will try it his way BUT if it doesn't work than....... (I think this it ok to write)

Hmmm, now I have to see him next Wed. So gone from a I'll see you every 3-4 weeks to lets see you weekly....

Gave me a bit of a lecture (knew that was coming), told him yeah but you are not in my head at 2am in the morning when everything is going pear shaped or when I am having a panic attack over something so little. Spoke about the SI and how strong they are atm.

Told me he doesn't think I am suitable for the group therapy program (ah not sh*t). Told him that last week!!

I think that has covered everything. Walked out not feeling as bad as I had previous times. Finally home and taken prn to try and help with all this anxiety now. Not sure if its from pdoc or from driving home in more traffic.

@outlander@Faith-and-Hope@Sans911@Bunniekins@MDT

I think must be the most I have ever written. Geee must have wanted to get that out!

It’s good @Former-Member .... here and listening.

You sound like you’re finding your voice with him a bit more.

@Faith-and-Hopewell my psychologist had called him again yesterday and left a message saying he need to speak to him ASAP. So pdoc said why would the psych say that. Couldn't really say "I dont know"!

Guess it made me to tell him some things...

I am glad it lead to some progress @Former-Member .... 💕

@Sans911I did tell him that I am not going to promise him anything. I can't say that because right now I care about my safety but that can change in a split second.