Unknown userMember
FORUMS
Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
- 47,612Members
- 1,358,869Posts
- 1,400,000Visitors
RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911 The depth of guilt and shame associated with just this flashback is so much, there is so much more to it but cannot say it in here.
3 things I can feel are top, pants and blanket
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
I understand @Former-Member. I gathered there would be more. And I understand the shame only too well.
But you are not guilty ok? You did not ask for this to happen to you. It was forced on against your will. Your were just a child, ok?
This is not happening to you anymore. You are safe tonight. These are horrible, horrible memories that make you feel angry, and sad, but these are only memories and not what is happening to you at this very moment.
You are a good person. You have a husband who lyou love and 2 beautiful children that you love with your heart and soul, don't you?
But you are not guilty ok? You did not ask for this to happen to you. It was forced on against your will. Your were just a child, ok?
This is not happening to you anymore. You are safe tonight. These are horrible, horrible memories that make you feel angry, and sad, but these are only memories and not what is happening to you at this very moment.
You are a good person. You have a husband who lyou love and 2 beautiful children that you love with your heart and soul, don't you?
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Are you safe @Former-Member right now? I'll sit with you as long as you need me to until your calm again.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911 The guilt for this one is different for a few reason but can’t gp their tonight.
No I am not safe yet, it will take awhile to get to that point. I am going to go outside for a walk
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911 In my backyard! I should have said. We own some land. I can’t stay in the house. There are too many temptations around
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member - ok, a walk sounds like a good idea. Can you try to keep talking to me to stay safe? Do you need to ring a helpline like SCBS?
I'll be here for you ok? I'm not going anywhere
I'll be here for you ok? I'm not going anywhere
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911 You should be asleep hun, it’s past midnight there.
I can keep talking to you, right now I don’t think I need to call SCBS
What you did has helped me calm down, I just need to get the images out of my head and the smells too
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
I am wide awake @Former-Member. I don't have any sleeping tablets today because I didn't pick them up. I have to pick up my meds every 2days from the hospital pharmacy. It's my safety plan, so I don't have more meds than I need at home. I'll get them tomorrow as I see my psychiatrist in the afternoon. And I can't resort to my other means that I use because I'm way too tolerant to them.
I don't work right now, so lack of sleep isn't a major issue. I've had such a bad sleep pattern for almost
a year now. But had insomnia on/off my whole life.
So what better way to spend a sleepless night than talking to you? While you are walking around wherever you are walking, try to really focus on what you can see (yes I know it's the middle of the night=darkness). And try to focus on things you can smell too. It will help to erase what's in your head
I don't work right now, so lack of sleep isn't a major issue. I've had such a bad sleep pattern for almost
a year now. But had insomnia on/off my whole life.
So what better way to spend a sleepless night than talking to you? While you are walking around wherever you are walking, try to really focus on what you can see (yes I know it's the middle of the night=darkness). And try to focus on things you can smell too. It will help to erase what's in your head
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Sans911 I have come back inside, raining outside and too wet now to walk around. As long as I am not keeping you up. I can’t close my eyes yet, I just picture certain images that constantly keep going. God a hate this crap,
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Why don't you tell me some random facts @Former-Member?
Your really good at that.
Your really good at that.
