fear of failing

It's OK to rant @MDT,you are just another frustrated person who feels they aren't being heard.I guess they see you as someone they can trust and I guess look after your sister.One of my sister's seemed to have a "right to give way" constantly,whether it was rearing her kids,or my mother's constant statement is "she's busy",which I know is my mother's way of compensating.The other sister was put on a pedestal and that might be how you see your sister?Or you have the ability like I did to step back and see there is something wrong?But this causes a lot of conflict sometimes having this insight,both within and towards others.

I just haven't had good experiences in my five years @MDT,no one can help me I realised if I can't have control over my life.Its been a hard lesson to learn.

Look after yourself,you sound like you have a future @MDT ,you sound like you do everything necessary like going to the gym .Keeping life going for someone who didn't and I realise that's the main thing.

I didn't know about your sisters illness,sorry @MDT,can see how you might feel at times,like you are less of a priority.It must have been hard at times. There's snobbery everywhere unfortunately @MDT .My anxiety , downfall was made worse by the workplace atmosphere I was in,no one talked,had a Xmas meal where I had to end up not going to because of the atmosphere,couldn't per when I'd go to the toilet,like a child stressed,.I worry if I can ever handle a workplace again. I think people like you and everyone else who have lived and survived through SI etc are much better people because we understand.

I was in a factory @MDT,twenty years or so,the b***** are still there ,tried everything to get a job and unsuccessful.At the age of 45 got a Hecs debt from giving up university by distance,did a year or more of psychology/social welfare had family crap then,plus I think I doubted a lot of it then eg:when I went to the local mental health had a try hard male social worker holding up pictures of how mood affects emotions.I had studied it,did nothing for me,wasn't help just someone who looked like he had no idea.

I never met anyone and always waited for Mr Right seen classmates who when one got married,the other followed etc.I was always different,never felt "one of the crowd",and I don't want to be.Always had shit out on me .Just watch it but @MDT,and realize these "mates",may give you crap to hide their own inferiorities or be hellos or envious of you in some way.Sad but true.

I like my own space,worked in a nursing home briefly when I left the factory,one old women picked me as a loner.I do get lonely especially Xmas,but no one is worth it.Tried a relationship with a guy last year who came onto me,but as stated on this site ended up realising he was just another delusional f*****!,had a few of them , including a alcoholic and one delusional twenty years older lol!The guy recently wasn't genuine either.I have trouble believing and trusting in anyone,I get depressed unemployed feel I'm not worthy of ever having a chance at life, meeting someone I now don't want to knowing I'm not worthy.

You have values @MDT when it comes to relationships or you know you haven't met ,"the one".No one can knock you for that.

There are potential psychos in the workplace but the biggest problem is like your mates...egos.

Thanks @MDT,your posts reminded me of years ago I was having family shit.Went to a female social worker who had hair like a clown (moppy and frizzy), and acted like one!When I was in a happy moment she would pull a happy face,when I was upset she'd pull a sad face, quivering the bottom lip.Bloody hopeless.She draw pictures on the whiteboard as learnt in sociology so you could visually clarify everything etc.I probably would've made a good social worker as the ones I've seen seem to be lost like me.