SPRING-Clean Declutter - Need Help

Your post make me smile @Smc... imagining you all as little minimalists .. not!

Enjoy the machine. I am not completely illogical or a severe Luddite. If there are good things that add value to life ... go for it! Still have to use the bath to wash out things tho. I surprised my son when I washed his pillow and actually made a visible difference ... ah those old fashioned ways!

Cheers

I tried to raise my kids where it was natural to put things back where they belonged @Appleblossom, and keep things to a sensible degree of order ..... but I had someone running around behind them telling them that it was their Mum’s job to do that and she (I) was being lazy by making them do it ..... and lo and behold ..... basis for power struggles .....

My response was to teach cause and effect ..... leave your special things on the floor and they will get trodden on and broken, and you will hurt yourself in the process ..... don’t return things to where they belong and you will be running around late for school trying to find the permission form that was supposed to be handed in last week, or you can’t go on the excursion today ..... and asked them what was more comfortable ?

We got the baselines met, but like with @Smc, we had a lot of upheaval and overwhelming other issues, so I am just grateful we made the baseline. The kids are learning to be tidier and more organised as adults. They just don’t want to help tackle the house, but we also have very little stuffing at the moment too, so it’s baby steps in whatever we can manage, when we can manage, and we will get there somehow.

Sounds like a real effort @Smc

Lovely you have your dog cushion completed @utopia

Am vacuuming regularly but floor washing is still a problem.

It has to be rough when you are undermined like that @Faith-and-Hope - it seems the kids are learning to care for their stuff now they are adults but still -

I would have been furious if my kids were told that chores like that were my job - would I ever -

You are a jewel - truly - I am am sure Mr ED didn't see what we see though - it has to have been a really rough life for you - gradually more bitznpiecez of your story peep out of the past

As always - I am sending my best thought to you - love and prayers

Dec

Thanks @Owlunar .... it was tough .... and your empathy has made me all leaky.

It wasn’t fair, but I understand in hindsight that there have been mi issues involved from the outset.

I am getting that. @Faith-and-Hope

I would go so far as to suggest that most cases where it is difficult to get kids to tidy is that there is undermining or some misogyny going on ... and that it is a form of abuse and slavery.

:

Yes I do cause and effect with kids, others and my own, and in a sense we have no choice but to go along with things to some extent.

My kids' dad ... thought it was funny as apparently I was a boiled frog ...we did zoology ,,, ha ha ... wonder why I am at a zoo .. examining bottom lines for animals ... eventually I did jump out of the boiling water, only barely made it tho.

Tying up a woman's time and energy unnecessarily ... for up to 30 years ...

Seeing the little boys today throw themselves with such enthusiasm into tidy up time make it seem very clear to me.

Anyway, "we cant change the past" gets drilled into us .. so we work around the situations as we love our children.

Yep @Appleblossom .... you find ways around the hurdles and just get on with things ..... and sometimes, more often than we realise, there can be some silver linings .....

That same person was instrumental in me becoming, and thus our kids becoming, bilingual and bicultural.

Oh boy i can relate to much of what you're all saying. I did similar with my kids Apple. Think it tought them disrespect us - without meaning to.

But my bragtime.

This last week i've filled the street bin & the neighbours bin with mess from the shed and the back room. The pantry and spare fridge were over stocked - old rusty tinned food, use by dates back into the 90's. Poor mum, she just couldn't throw anything out, and i think bulging cupboarts gave her a sense of secutity. Doesnt make sense otherwise - all this useless stuff. And i dropped off a boot-load of stuff to charity - clothes, framed prints, large stuffed toys, linen. I had too much anxiety before now to be this serious, as if mother would blast me for helping again, and maybe a respect thing for a grieving time. Funny how you know its time now but wasnt before. Just gotta do it as the urge comes - thats when I get most ruthless.

Yep @Faith-and-Hope families are individual too.

Glad you are taking your time about clearing out the stuff. @Former-Member Inner wisdom helps.

I still have my brothers old film canisters and a gorgeous leather case with his projector. Cant bear to part with it yet.

so it sits in the garage.

I was that mother of yours. Lmao I just moved out of my 20 year home to a much smaller place. It was the most horrific experience I’ve ever had. I was like mum who needed bulging cupboards. Not anymore. I’ve minimized out of necessity. But I still love stuff.