SPRING-Clean Declutter - Need Help

Hiya there @Former-Member. Looks like you've got quite a job ahead of you. I can totally relate to ageing parents and the natural progression of that 😞 (no parents left now for me) and also the toxic siblings.

My father hated to throw anything away. He would wear clothes until they literally fell off him whilst having heaps of new unopened packets of underwear, socks and shirts in his wardrobe. He kept broken appliances and would salvage parts off anything he could find that might come in handy one day. My mother would secretly throw things away and he would check the bin before the garbo came and retrieve stuff.

The nerve damage is manageable and I am taking meds. The occupational therapist reckons I should have pretty good use of my hand down the track. It's been nearly three months since the accident and I am super diligent with the exercises I am given. Went to the physio today - a new one - a woman this time who got me to take off my shirt so she could see my muscles and forcibly (but safely) put me through some movements and stretches. I was pretty much exhausted afterwards. I have an exercise band now to do more tricky stuff.

I have done a lot of research and am taking assorted vitamins and supplements and even bought a little TENS machine with a glove to send small electrical current through my hand. I acknowledge the pain and just try to tell myself it isn't warranted. I'll do a movement with my good side and attempt to trick my bad side to do the same (with some success but I'll get there)

My daughter moved out last Saturday and I think it's for the best. She popped over on Sunday and I'll see her again tomorrow for dog walking and dinner. I have only lived alone for about eight months in the last 30 years so it will be an adjustment.

You're doing a great job @Former-Member - keep up the good work and do drop by again soon.

Hi @Smc

I am a big reader - it's a really hot and windy night in Melbourne and I thought I would leave some messages here before I continue reading

I used to read in a tree in our back yard too - my mother didn't know I was there and couldn't see me and would give me some peace - I remember reading Wuthering Heights for the first time up that tree - I think that was a great place to read that book myself

And if course books are free from de-cluttering as long as they are replaced or just disposed of when they become battered and lose their pages and their youthful good looks

I was an Enid Blyton fan in my childhood and felt as sense of frustration when her books were taken off the decent education standard of reading for children - what no reading about the Faraway Tree etc - no adventure with the Famous Five - no midnight feasts at St Clares

Not good but they seem to be back

I think my favourite book is The Clan of the Cave Bear

Dec

I think your desire to read long books will return when you are feeling better

Hi @Former-Member

I definitely have "gotcha" - Mum's be gone over three years now but I am working through this stuff with my therapist today and aw sheesh - I came through all of this this intact - how? I think the rest of the family thought I was okay until my sister was born - I am a very fortunate person in spite of everything

But our toxic sister issues are similar - your sister is also sinister - or seems so - I wouldn't ask why she might be intercepting your Dad's mail but there is less at the time of the month - but you sister has to be a control freak - altough the situation varies a bit we are in the same boat with sisters - yeah

Finding a place for yourself is a hard task there - I do not envy you in the slightest - my sister and my daughter had to go through my parents' stuff - I don't know how they did it - apparently the house was chockablock full of ornaments - ornaments - I wish I had a chance to see some of it

We can't tell how things will work out but rest in the truth that you are doing this for your Dad and for the best reasons - so he can stay at home and be treated with dignity and I know you will be glad to do this and give him good food - you can't do better than that and I'm sorry things have to be so tough for you

Lotsa hugs Lapses - you will grieve for your mother and for what could have been and never was - bless you - I do understand

Dec

@Determined, I'm always happier with re-homing than tossing. I've always got one eye on the environmental side of both excessive production and landfill. If a coffee machine can go to a new owner, that's one less new one from the factory, and one less in the dump.

@Former-Member, yeah, I know they can't really be exempt.

It's funny thinking that, once upon a time, books were completely hand made and hand lettered. As a result, they were very valuable, and a lot of care would have been put into the content as well. Even in the early printing press days, so much of the work was still manual labour. Nowadays a book is such an easy thing to make, and I wonder if as a result there's a danger of the contents being less carefully considered.

I used to work in the book section of a department store. Mills and Boons... new range every month; after a few months you started noticing identical blurbs to a previous month's story, just with a few name changes; end of the month, whatever hadn't sold had the covers removed for a refund from the publisher, and all the rest went straight in the recycling bin. I know a lot of people love them, but there's so many of them that they have no value within a few weeks of publication.

I'd hope that we don't have too many that are throwaway-books among ours. I do think that with a bit of inspection I'll find some that someone else would get more value and pleasure out of than we will.

Ooooh @Former-Member, that is so appropriate on all levels!

Hi @Former-Member - I've got one of those little hand-held vacuums. It's great for quick clean-ups and cleaning out the car. I've got rid of some kid's books and things in the past week. I'm trying hard not to accumulate but I saw a nice timber bookshelf on someone's lawn this afternoon and had to have it. Nearly crippled myself gettting it in the car - it's heavy solid timber. I've put it in one of my daughter's bedrooms. Hopefully she'll take the hint to use it rather than creating little islands of stuff all over the place. It's a non-stop battle getting them to tidy up. Hope everyone else is being good de-clutterers this week.