SPRING-Clean Declutter - Need Help

@soul

I wouldn't take the jewellery issue to heart...even though I would probably feel the same initially...

a whole different generation....

we are living in a throwaway kind of society as well..

glad that you kept them yourself too....she might ponder over those one day...might even ask if you know what happened to them...thinking that they are lost or stolen...she might have just grabbed a draw and emptied it into a bag...

at least you have them ..

@utopia @Former-Member @Shaz51 @soul @Owlunar @Mazarita @eth @eudemonism

I wanted to let you know that I have made progress with decluttering..

I asked husband to buy some large garbage bags when he did the shopping for me today..

they are sitting nicely on the kitchen bench where they were unpacked..

I thought to myself if I put them away...that will be the end of that...

so they are cluttering the kitchen bench...

one step closer...

Nah @Former-Member - she knew I was looking through her throw away pile. I mentioned the items but she just told me that I was a hoarder. In fact, apart from having more clothes than she has (she throws out anything from last season), she has a lot more personal stuff than I have.

Kinda hurt my feelings at the time but I get what you mean about that generation. She's moving to a place where she will have much less space and I know I will be storing what she can't take including her desk and dressing table.

@mohill - well done, you are one step in front of me my friend
Hello @utopia, @Former-Member, @soul, @Owlunar

Hi @Former-Member - I wouldn't worry about a kennel and a chair too much, I've been known to come home with an entire car full of roadside pickups. I got rid of a few books today and tomorrow I'm taking some kid's shoes to the op shop so I'm still in front. I did pick up a big plank of wood but I can use it for a shelf in the garage so it already has a purpose rather than just a "might need that one day" find which has always been my weakness. I hope everyone else is doing OK.

thanks @Owlunar, @Shaz, @Former-Member & everyone, yes, i have moved into my parents indefinately. The decluttering needed here is off the charts, and comes last with caring for dad who has accellerating cognitive decline, incontinence, poor mobility, chronic pain, & diabetes. Full on - cooking, cleaning, more cleaning, x2 messy dogs & a cat, appointments, transport, toxic family dynamics & now grief of losing mum. Yesterday i took him in to pick up / sign out mum's ashes. He placed them cenrestage on the living room china cabinet among the flowers. - so sweet. I thought it important he did that himself - i just hover & become his arms, legs & brain when needed (so much time & patience required).

DECLUTTERING comes last, even after my lsy downs (self care re back pain & stress levels is abpriirity for me nowadays), but Yes, i'm more active than usual living here - better 'at it' than when I'm at home for some reason, ext motivated i guess. Yep, Decluttering 'mum's home' feels disrespectful to her as i know she would hate it, but just a little at a time, and things we don't use really, that just get in the way. The linen cupboard is soon on the agenda big job there, mum was sooooo creative, a true sanguine. xox

hi there @faithandhope

just stopping a min while physio is with dad. Miss yas all, but no SI. Bins filling up for Thurs collection. Got rid of nearly all the mats holding years of dog pee smell. Mum even had newspaper under the mats to absorb more 😞 The only good the mats served was to stop slips. The dogs are not housetrained, so they're getting locked in one room at night now ( bark their heads off outside at night) - easier to do morning mop then - till i figure out how to manage them, train them. Any suggestions how to stop the male dog peeing on the legs of things etc?

Hi @Former-Member

I'm glad to know you are there full time with your Dad right now - you say he seems to be going downhill fast - this might be a grief thing and it will either pass or will not but God is in charge of that

I reckon your Dad is happier with you there and you can feel stronger about keeping your sibs nick-pickingm pinchym sticky fingers out of certain things

I dunno myself about keeping the animals but then - they are important for your Dad I guess - you will be able to clean them up now though

Then there's the ashes - and your Dad has them on the china cabinet with the flowers - his choice - it's important for him to remember that his wife of so many years has passed on - and this is hard for both of you

Now about the de-cluttering - I know this feels disrespectful toward your mother and you need to go through the grieving process yourself - and you also feel your mother would hate it for you to go through and declutter her stuff

But she's gone now and whatever happens she is in a better place and as your Dad said - more settled - I think she would be glad to have it done away with bit by bit. Think in your mind that you are talking to her as you go through the process and tell her you are not snooping - just clearing things so you can care for your Dad at home cause maybe it just will make life easier for him and yourself of course

I dunno what to say about your sibs - strange sister but I have a similar one - oh dear - what do with do with difficult childish and domineering people?

I am with you Lapses - I care a whole lot and know this is a really hard time - and you have pain

None of this is going to make your pain any easier right now but after my mother died I found I was able to cope with my spinal pain much better without the tension I had in my life - rest in short spaces when you can and things will gradually feel more normal about your sciatica - I know that is a fire in your legs at times

My love and prayers always sis

Dec