How to accept help after a life of helping others

Good morning @Former-Member

I haven't been on board for quite a while so responding to you is very belated I'm afraid. You've given me an idea of who you are which is on topic, so please don't worry ok.

It must be isolating being away from family, though healing must come first. Combatting complex PTSD is a massive task. I know this as I've been dealing with it most of my life, though I've faced many of my demons to date, so life's much easier than it once was thank goodness..

Actually, I bite my tongue...I was triggered last night by a movie after visiting my mum. I haven't cried like that in ages. My eyes are swollen this morning so viewing the screen's a bit cumbersome.

I have an appointment soon so I'll have to log off and maybe return later. Will be doing the dark glasses thing in public. I look 10 yrs older than I am.

Maybe we can chat later. 🙂

Hope x

I think my apologies for not being around to chat are getting a bit old. So I'll say instead; I pop in when I can and really enjoy what time I spend with you all when I'm here.

I'm in a place where I need to write my hurt. I won't continue here as the issue doesn't fall under the heading topic, so I'll create another thread to discuss my feelings there. I think I'll call it 'When food replaces love'

Thankyou to @Former-Member @Sahara @Phoenix_Rising @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Sans911 @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Bimby2 @TAB and @soul

...everyone who's contributed to this thread to date. You've all been so wonderful in welcoming me and engaging in conversation. It's not the end of course, but helping others isn't on my radar today, it's more about helping myself.

Hope xo

tag me my friend @Hope4me in you new thread

No need to worry about when/if you are able to 'pop in' @Hope4me - just nice to see you back when you can

So, my next installment of this thread...

It's been a while since I wrote as I haven't had the urge to pu-ge. Today though I was sitting down after a busy morning fixing the window coverings in the loungeroom admiring my achievements and thought; "This is something positive to write about".

The name of this thread indicates how my life's been, focusing on other people's problems and trying to pull back. It's been an uphill climb changing these habitual behaviours as they seem to invade every aspect of my world. They've been with me since I remember so I'm not surprised it's taken this long for progress. (4 years since my breakdown!)

I (and my home) have been in a funk; an intidy, unruley, feel sorry for me, what's the point, lazy funk. Gradually everything around me fell into disarray leaving me overwhelmed. So what did I do? Avoid all of it! Blah! I'm forgiving of myself though. No point berating, my mum does enough of that for both of us. Ha!!!

I wanted to share the feeling of achievement with you all. What I finished this morning was the end of yesterday's hellish endeavour to add venetian blinds to windows and add light to a dark room; the one I've hidden in since my brain broke.

I wanted desperately to give up because it challenged me so much, but I vowed to finish and be accountable. I'd forgotten how it felt to be accomplished at something I'm not familiar with. Pretty stoked actually.

The thing is, I did it for me; not people who might visit or a critical mother. It had been on my to-do list along with many other tasks. Tick! One down, seventeen to go. lol I look forward to exploring my list one by one instead of dwelling over how many things I have to do. I deserve this feeling guys.

I know this post is a bit long winded, but I really needed to write it. Thanks for reading...

Hope xo

@Hope4me, here for you anytime my awesome friend you are sooo wonderful toooo me