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How to accept help after a life of helping others

How to accept help after a life of helping others

I'm in my mid 50's and have had careers in the helping professions most of my adult life. Listening to friends and family, and even strangers on the street has been an habitual trait I can't seem to shake.

I feel a little broken at the moment trying to avoid situations where I'm used as a sounding board for 'their' problems. My own issues are on top of me and when I try to voice my concerns, a common answer is; "You think that's bad, what about me?" I then listen and engage as usual and leave the conversation feeling ignored and alone.

I wouldn't say I'm homebound, but close enough to it to feel scary and stuck. I call Lifeline sometimes for another voice in the room (I live alone) and it's mostly productive, but it doesn't replace close connections I crave; especially to discuss happy or up-lifting topics.

I was hospitalised this year and found it exasserbating being the one who needed support. I ended up listening to other patients and ignoring my own needs.

Even now I'm tempted to read posts and reach out to help.

How do I resist this temptation and focus on my own life?

Hope

268 replies

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In response to: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

All's well guys;

Mum's home now and fighting fit. She's a fighter and malley bull when it comes to surviving; nothing can keep her down. It's one of her most endearing qualities.

It's been an emotional roller-coaster ride for me so I've kept to myself spending time playing Solitaire online or watching YouTube video's. This helps me stay calm away from upsetting thoughts/feelings; an enjoyable avoidance.

Thankyou again for your support and encouragement.

xo

@Shaz51@Zoe7@TAB@Appleblossom@Sahara

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

I think there is a bit of an art in taking on the quality of strength from our mothers, without being overwhelmed or intimidated or put off by it.

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Distraction can be good @Hope4me sorry re brief reply am at work

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Hey @TAB; totally understandable but well appreciated. Have a great day!

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

hugs @Hope4me

good to hear your mum is home xx

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Oh you are a toper re prev posts other threads @Hope4me 😸😎🎩 lol

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Well was funny couple days re work @Hope4me .. had shouting match after offense created by supervisor from site not my company yest and today. Can’t go there. Well even his boss mentioned in passing he has problems. Sigh. Was thinking sickie tomorrow ie last day of job but told we had option of not coming in tomorrow. So won’t be. Was a good drive home in semi derelict truck w flat front tyres re steering Yay 50ks of .. fa arn .. ok it was really cos had captive audience of guy worked with briefly before. So many common experiences. .. even got a few laughs out of him when busted war stories (well work stories) out. Beautiful scenery , had someone to talk to for an hour. Was Good. 😀😸😎🎩 @Sophia1 @Zoe7 @Bill16

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Hi @Hope4me hope am not waking up 😇😸

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Meant hope not waking you up @Hope4me guess I’m the toper ok long shifts no work tomorrow oh well

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Gday @TAB how's it going

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