Topic Tuesday // How being a carer changes once your loved one turns 18 // 26 Sep, 7pm AEST

It might help to try talk about what help your daughter might like to get from you, with the psychiatrist perhaps as a way to start that engagement, but sometimes it can be a matter of patience, until a person is ready to recieve your help, as unsatisfactory and frustrating as that can be.

@JonCarer I agree but when I shared a note where my daughter said she wanted to die and how her psycologist was worried that I was breaching trust! ummmm I thought it was serious, the psycologist said it was just emotional disregulation...

But yes my daughter needs autonomy... but her psycologist also needs to know that she can be very manipulative..

NB - I did mean with your daughter AND the psychiatrist at your upcoming meeting.

thank you @JonCarer

It is very difficult when you are concerned about risks like that, because confidentiality is very important, but not as important as the person remaining physically alive!

But I would have thought that you had done the right thing by disclosing if you thought there was a real risk of harm, and that the psych didn't think there was a real risk, they should have considered whether there was emotional manipulation being attempted and given you some advice about that.

My daughter is also a master manipulator. Any psychologist or psychiatrist worth the money will see through it quickly. My daughter will only tell people what she wants them to know, until she feels comfortble. As her previous psychologist said "she does great work once she's developed a raport with the therapist, on her terms"

@NikNik

Can I also direct participants to The Australian Statement of Rights and Responsibilities and National Standards for Mental Health Services which public hospitals subscribe to which have the responsibilites in communicating with carers clearly set out.

https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjY5vjT0cLWAhVIlJQKHRrMAjkQFggyMAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.health.gov.au%2Finternet%2Fmain%2Fpublishing.nsf%2Fcontent%2FE39137B3C170F93ECA257CBC007CFC8C%2F%24File%2Frights2.pdf&usg=AFQjCNGI9pgmOae1JPypFltBYhv72LxVPw

https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=4&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjFiL6L08LWAhULmJQKHbu1BecQFgg7MAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.health.gov.au%2Finternet%2Fmain%2Fpublishing.nsf%2Fcontent%2FCFA833CB8C1AA178CA257BF0001E7520%2F%24File%2Fservst10v2.pdf&usg=AFQjCNGZdun_RSsPJ0uzmDn5n3QNQF78SQ

Good resources! We also have a bit of an overview of carer rights under the NSW Mental Health Act and the designated carer and principle care provider forms on a page of the MHCN website here:

http://www.arafmi.org/carer-rights/

Well we have about 15 mins left - so feel free to ask questions, share your own tips and/or your experiences!

Are there any big ticket items you wanted to cover @JonCarer that we haven't touched on yet?

One other point to be note, carers have some strong rights under the Act, such as to always to be able to provide information to doctors assessing mental health for example (s72A), with or without permission from the person they are supporting.

However, simply ignoring someones wishes, especially if this is not done with any subtelty can be very disempowering and in fact traumatising, especlially if a person has lost a lot of control through involuntary treatment. Trauma causes or worsens mental illness in many cases, and so can hamper recovery.

So, even when you 'have the right' remember always to use those rights respectfully and compasionately and in a way that does not emphasive the powerlessness of the person you are trying to support. (Easier said than done in practise!)