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OCD relapse

OCD relapse

A week ago my husband had an OCD relapse, we have been together 12 years and this is the worst one we have been through.

I find it really hard to explain what happens exactly but I will use our psychiatrists description. It's like there is a monster on his shoulder and sometimes that monster just sits there but other times that monster takes over.

For him it's like someone has let the plug out, he slowly drains away and the void that's left gets filled with this sick person.

He's 6ft 4 and a bricklayer. He's a strong man and in these episodes he crumples up into an empty shell.

His eyes go wild and he loses touch with his surroundings and goes into himself.

It's really hard to talk him out of his obsessions because he doubts everything. He doubts whether he's asked you a question, whether he's ever going to get better and he catastrophises and obsseses over these catastrophes.

Mentally healthy people seem to think that in any mental illness relaxing is the cure. But in OCD it's definitely not. It's the worst thing they can do. That's why people develop compulsions like cleaning, knocking, counting, rituals to help control their thoughts. Then these become obsessions and without doing these rituals the whole world falls apart.

When he tries to sleep the thoughts take over. A week ago he was laying on the couch curled up in a ball crying hysterically from exhaustion as his thoughts took over him repeatedly only giving him a rest so his body could fuel up enough to go another round. Watching him deal with it reminded me of childbirth. You know the next contraction is coming and it will be agonising but there's nothing you can do to stop it and you're frightened and you can't control it.

I called the CAT team that night at 4am and they turned up the next morning.

For the first time in his whole life the psychiatrist explained to both of us that he's never going to get better. That OCD is most likely genetic..

We'd always been under the impression that he could get better. That if he kept running and eating right and avoiding alcohol and drugs that he would be cured. That he'd reach some magical point that would make it all better. But he won't.
I have so much fear now for our future.
We have two little girls.
I have so much fear for them.

17 replies

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In response to: OCD relapse

Re: OCD relapse

sending you hugs @elyse

In response to: OCD relapse

Re: OCD relapse

So sorry to hear that @elyse. Hoping that things move in a positive way for you all.

In response to: Re: OCD relapse

Re: OCD relapse

hello @elyse

how are you today my friend , is everything ok

In response to: OCD relapse

Re: OCD relapse

Just checking in with you too @elyse .....

In response to: OCD relapse

Re: OCD relapse

Elyse,

I suffer from OCD as well. Has your husband done Exposure and Response Prevention therapy? It is the gold standard therapy for OCD. A few things to check out:

https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/treatment/erp/

https://jackieleasommers.com/ocd/

http://theocdstories.com/category/podcast/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MBcKI1_N_w

I am shocked your psychiatrist said your husband would get never better. Please have hope; many people have recovered despite believing otherwise, but proper treatment is needed! Please check the iOCDF page in particular, because they have information on finding competent therapists for ERP.

In response to: Re: OCD relapse

Re: OCD relapse

Good morning @Hopefulone and welcome to the forums ......

Thank you for posting these links. There is a OCD element to what my husband is challenged with at the moment, and it is hard to know where to find the right sort of information while he is, as yet, undiagnosed.

Keeping hope in place is the ongoing challenge of carers, along with caring for ourselves .....

🌷🌿

F&H

In response to: OCD relapse

Re: OCD relapse

Elyse - what a tough time you are having. Severe OCD is so very difficult for the person suffering and those close to them. In periods where my daughter was at her lowest I felt in a state of panic, but she told me that she needed me to be calm and to help her to be hopeful. I found that really hard, but over time, I found myself able to do that. I was also quite open with my own network about what was happening. Quite a number of people then shared with me their own or their family members' experience with OCD. This helped me to understand that while she would continue to have OCD, she would be able to learn how to manage it, so she would be in a better place when she had a relapse. She is presently having a set back, but has nonetheless been progressively improving over past years - and is nowhere near where she was. I tend to think about it as a helicopter view - big picture - rather than day to day - and she has come such a long way. She and I have talked at length about the importance of making slow and steady progress which builds a very solid foundation for when you hit bumps, as you inevitably do fron time to time. Finding a good practitioner for treatment is really important. One of my friends told me that always having someone they have confidence in to go and see at these times is really important. Two books that were really helpful to me were The Man who Couldn't Stop by David Adam and The Reality Slap by Russ Harriss. Be kind to yourself in this difficult time.

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