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utopiaSenior Contributor

HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

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In response to: HOME

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: HOME

I don`t know anything about Auto immune disorders @utopia xx

ananna nap. sounds good @utopia, I should hve one as last night we had a farewell dinner for D1 who is moving to Darwin

and it was our 10th wedding anniversary

sweet sleep my friend xx

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

Thank you @Shaz51. Had a 2 hour 'nanna nap'. I was so tired. I keep waking up multiple times in the night. So I'm often craving an afternoon nap.
My mum has Fibro Myalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome & like me is sensitive to chemicals and perfumes.
My neice has Hoshimoto Disease.
All are different forms of Auto Immune Disorder. Not nice, but it's the way it is.

In response to: Re: HOME

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: HOME

Hugs for you and your family @utopia

have to wait to see what I have xx

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

Bloody hot flushes and night sweats. Couldn't get comfortable last night to fall asleep. Finally at 2am I put the evaporative cooler back on. I also had the ceiling fan cranked up. Nope. Fell asleep at 5am but woke at 6, at 7, at 8.30, at 9.15, at 10.40 & just now at 12.30.
Feel absolutely wrecked.
Plus I'm reducing my anti anxiety medication as advised by my psychiatrist. So I don't think that's helping with my moods.
So tired, hot and irritable.

In response to: Re: HOME

Unknown userMember

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia - hope everything is going OK despite the night sweats etc. It could be just the weather - it's been so humid and probably normal to not be able to sleep. I've only got a fan - no aircon and I find the heat wakes me up despite taking an anti-psychotic at night to make me sleep. Last night the rain woke me up. I can see the thought behind reducing the anti-anxiety meds. I have chronic anxiety but I don't like taking anti-anxiety meds unless necessary. I've read that as humans we need to have some anxiety to keep us safe. If we become too relaxed we can't make informed decisions on situations - for example crossing the road, if we have no anxiety we might just wander onto the road not being able to perceive danger or potential hazard. So anxiety in healthy doses gives us a self-preservation instinct if that makes sense. I try to ask myself if this is a real threatening situation or just an excess of anxiety making it into a bigger problem than it needs to be. It's the whole "stepping back" and reviewing the situation as an observer process. It won't always help but it can be beneficial sometimes. Anyway... is your son still at home? I hope your home life has settled down despite your health problems. Take care.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

@Former-Member. Yes normal anxiety is useful in life. But having anxiety for no reason at all - that freezes your ability to act - that sucks.
My son is still living at my mums. He very occasionally has a sleep over here. Those nights are good. But I'm nervous about him coming back to live here full time. But if we do it slowly - over the Christmas holidays - that may help me adjust without me melting into an anxious state.
How have you been @Former-Member? I hope life is treating you well.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

Well late this afternoon my son moved back to my house. My mum had had enough of him being selfish and not doing what he was told.
Will have to wait and see how we both cope living together again.
@Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 & everyone.

In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

Will be walking with you @utopia ...... hopefully it won't be too bumpy, but you two will have your own dynamic different from your mum's and his ..... and hopefully he will appreciate that.

In response to: Re: HOME

Unknown userMember

Re: HOME

hello @utopia

just heard that your son is back home....

mixed feelings possibly?....loving having him home....worrying how you will cope....how things will work out?

enjoy each day as a new day without sounding corny....

there will be moments where you might be short with him...he will snap or shout at you...

male testosterone....female hormones?...mother and son relationships...all part of parenting with or without mental illness...

in no way am I trying to diminish your concerns though so please do not misunderstand my thoughts...

I know that you are a good person...with a good heart...who loves her son to the moon and back..

be gentle with yourself....remember he will be anxious too even though he might not tell you...depends how expressive about his feelings he is...

the main thing is this is something that you both do want...it has just come about earlier...

since when does life go to plan??

take care

In response to: Re: HOME

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: HOME

Will be walking with you @utopia tooo

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