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utopiaSenior Contributor27 Aug 2017, 3:34 pm AEST

HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

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In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor04 Oct 2017, 8:50 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

@Former-Member. Yes it most likely will go to the full hearing. As it doesn't sound like your employer is willing to acknowledge anything. Yes the stress does increase the closer it gets & be careful, because it was the extra stress that pushed me over the edge this year.

In response to: Re: HOME

Unknown userMember04 Oct 2017, 9:23 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

Good advice, thanks @utopia - I'm sure these people aren't losing sleep and feeling like I am at the moment. It's all just another day in the office for them and they can go home at night and carry on with their happy lives and forget all about it. Still it has been a valuable learning experience and if I can help others by what I've learned then that's a positive outcome.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor06 Oct 2017, 9:39 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

Ao tonight I went to a information / dinner night on Frogs/billabongs/ponds etc. Had a talk and slide presentation by Philip Johnson who designs natural billabongs watering holes or pools. A great designer. Then we had a talk by a lady from our local water catchment area talk to us about the main frogs in our area and the two they are trying to find.
Met some new people.
At the beginning and the end of the night, I was a bit shaky. Trembling hands and increased heart beats - really strong. Guess that was the anxiety. Felt a bit teary but managed to sit and stay there. Once the night got on its way, I was okay til the end.
Probably 70 people there. I went on my own. Didn't realise how nervous/anxious I would be. But I guess it is the first public event I've been to since hospital. So I did really well.
But I'm glad to be home.

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor07 Oct 2017, 12:00 am AEDT

Re: HOME

Good for you @utopia. That shows a lot of courage. I hope that it has boosted your self esteem. Maybe you can find something else to attend. Bit by bit.

Frogs are cute. Don’t like toads though.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor07 Oct 2017, 12:07 am AEDT

Re: HOME

Only 2 toads in Australia. Can Toads and an Asian Toad. But we do have Toadlettes. Frogs. And froglettes.
I have Banjo Frogs in my backyard. They are common all over Victoria

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor07 Oct 2017, 12:13 am AEDT

Re: HOME

We have the cane toads up here. Ugly and deadly if dogs attack them. Real nasty @utopia.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor07 Oct 2017, 12:42 am AEDT

Re: HOME

I lived in QLD for a few years @soul. I hate the Cane Toads.

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Shaz51Senior Contributor07 Oct 2017, 3:39 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

are you ok @utopia sending you tender hugs my friend

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor07 Oct 2017, 3:48 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

@Shaz51. I'm not okay. I feel shaky. Think I've missed some meds. I'm all over the place with my medication at the moment. I've run out of scripts and meds & just couldn't be bothered going to the doctors to get them filled. Not even sure what I'm missing - med wise.
I think the new med - to help me stop drinking is having a bit of an effect on me.
I'm cold and shivering. But I'm sweating badly through the night. I could change my sheets daily if I had the energy.
My mood is dropping. Worries always arrive when I'm out of sorts. So I'm just staying in bed today.
My sleep - I wake up after every dream. All vivid dreams. Then I fall asleep again until the next dream wakes me.
Just feeling shite today & sorry for myself

In response to: Re: HOME

Unknown userMember07 Oct 2017, 6:15 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia - sorry that you're doing so well. The night sweats and vivid dreams sound like they're med-related or maybe you're coming down with something? Usually the dreams and thermo regulating settle down once your brain gets used to the chemical adjustment. If you're struggling with remembering your meds maybe get one of those little boxes with the days of the week on them? I'm lucky my pills have the days on the blister packet so I can see if I've missed one - I usually know anyhow by how I'm feeling.

I took a pic of my paintings for you - don't look at the crack in the plaster, it's an old double-brick house with solid plaster and I've given up patching cracks. The painting on the left is by Gloria Petyarre and the one on the right is by Janet Golder Kngwarreye. I had Janet's painting sideways until recently - I'm sure it was in the portait orientation in the gallery (that's my excuse anyway). Take it easy and enjoy the sunshine.

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