Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor27 Aug 2017, 3:34 pm AEST

HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

2072 replies

211 - 220 of 2,072

1...21 22 23...208

In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor15 Sept 2017, 11:19 am AEST

Re: HOME

At least to be able to make a start ..... the healing can keep growing from there .....

Hugs Hon 💜💐💕

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor15 Sept 2017, 11:38 am AEST

Re: HOME

Perfectly said @Faith-and-Hope ♥♥ hugs

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor16 Sept 2017, 12:00 am AEST

Re: HOME

Hope the meeting went well @utopia. Family dynamics can be tricky stuff. I sure have my share of that.

Missed my Mum so much today. Other stuff has been happening too. I was so teary even during my yoga session 😥

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor16 Sept 2017, 10:46 am AEST

Re: HOME

Sorry to hear about the tears @soul. Yoga is a great place for feelings to emerge. I hope you just allowed the tears to flow and the feeling to come - even if they were painful at times.
I used to react often in yoga class to my emotions.
Yes, family dynamics are fun - not. And the thing is, our mum is our mum - the good and the bad. I expect my son to accept me for who I genuinely am. Then I must accept my mum for who she is.
But I tell you - some of the things she said was pretty rough on me. But then again, it was her birthday yesterday and my psychologist kept telling her that what she said causes me more pain and feeds into my depression. So not a great session for her. I think it helped my son alot. The psychologist reinforced that he's a bright normal teenager. Which he is. But I fear he will struggle with depression too & I won't see it.
I got heaps out of the session. Learning to ask questions rather than assume how the other person feels or thinks. Like most people, I think I will have to practice that a few times to get used to it.
My psychologist got a lot out of it. He saw our family dynamics and he learnt more about me. So we will have some things to discuss in other sessions.
I hope you have a gentle day today

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor16 Sept 2017, 12:18 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Thanks for your concern @utopia. I got a hug from the yoga instructor when I left as she sensed something was wrong. The first big hug I've had since the night my mother died and my son was for me afterwards.

So glad that there were positive outcomes from your meeting yesterday. Things can get tense but it seems like the facilitator was competent and even though it was your mother's birthday, the air was cleared to an extent. So important to try to respond rather than react. That's always tricky when someone feels that they are under attack even though that mightn't be the case.

Have you been to any more AA meetings? I have never had a problem per se but there are times when I just need something to numb the pain. Last night was one of those times but after yoga and that beautiful hug, I just walked around a park in the dark listening to music for a while. It did the trick.

Hope you have a good weekend. Catch up on some rest. It's been a very big week for you. ❤️

In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor16 Sept 2017, 1:26 pm AEST

Re: HOME

One of the reasons I book regular massages is for the human touch it brings @soul .... it doesn't matter that its professional touch, it matters that it's touch, and the right sort of touch / attention / respect / concern is healing in its nature ..... so glad you received a healing hug last night .....:

😘 ......... ❤️💕

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor16 Sept 2017, 3:02 pm AEST

Re: HOME

@soul. So good to hear your yoga teacher gave you that important hug. @Faith-and-Hope is right. Touch - proper gentle safe caring touch - is so needed. Unfortunately I think those of us living with some MI's miss out on tough the most. I'm glad f&h gets regular massages. They should be funded under Medicare!
I think my mum struggled a lot at yesterdays meeting. Because all her questions were focused around how to help me. I keep saying 'by looking after my son'. But she wants more. And there is no more - no black and white - easy answers with Major depression. So she didn't get out of the meeting what she hoped for. But as my psychologist said to me after - 'that is the way she thinks - there's no changing her now - so at least you know what to expect with your mum. No surprises'. & he's right. She is who she is. Just as I am who I am.

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor16 Sept 2017, 9:00 pm AEST

Re: HOME

I have booked a massage in for a fortnight's time @Faith-and-Hope. These things always seem a bit indulgent but I must do them more often.

My mother never once had a massage or facial or manicure. She always looked after herself though. She even cut her own hair until about ten years ago.

She was never a touchy feely type of person. Her hugs were brief. Think she felt uncomfortable. Never saw any affection between her and my father.

Yep, sometimes we have to accept that's how people are @utopia. We can't let our expectations interfere - otherwise we will continually be disappointed.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor16 Sept 2017, 9:20 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Knowing that logically and applying it to our heart - can be two different things @soul. But we'll get better at this acceptance over time.
I'm glad you booked a massage

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor16 Sept 2017, 9:28 pm AEST

Re: HOME

So true @utopia. Do you have another of these family meetings scheduled?

211 - 220 of 2,072

1...21 22 23...208