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HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

2072 replies

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In response to: HOME

Re: HOME

Thanks @Zoe7. Woke up feeling good . Amazing what a 'day off' does to recharge my batteries.

Gorgeous sunny day here. Have to head off to the supermarket soon. Running low on food.

Might sit and read my book in the sun. Then have heaps of washing to put away. And the kitchen to clean. Can't put these things off any longer.

Hope you find what you are looking for at Buntings. Enjoy your day. ❤

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

Yes I got the rose I wanted at Bunnings - straight in and out today - no wandering around as I knew I didn't have the time this morning. My sister will be here with her dog in less than 2 hours so need to get a few things done before he gets here.

Hope you have a great day reading in the sun - not so much with the housework but I suppose it needs to be done at some stage @utopia

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

Feeling flat and down. Teary but I can't cry.

House is a mess. Finances are a mess. Life is a mess.

Negative self talk getting louder and louder.

Feeling sorry for myself.

Feel that life will just keep repeating the same old shite.

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

It's hard to keep swimming when we feel that way @utopia, but if it's any consolation, I see (hear) a difference in you when you are getting on with the things you can and staying focused on that. There can be incremental changes that we don't see, or notice in ourselves, that are in fact moving forward.

Apart from anything else, life itself doesn't stay the same. Your son will continue through the stages of growing up, and they will chop and change as he goes, and one day you will find yourself standing before a fine young man who you helped to get there ..... one who has shouldered at least some of your values, and actually values you as a reference person in his life when he wants to know how to approach something new that is happening for him, or calls you to share his success with a bounce in his step and a laugh in his voice ..... wait for these things .... they are ahead of you yet.

Baby steps are about doing the things in this day that we can do ..... and sometimes breathing through the 24 hours is enough ..... when you are tired, rest .... just find something to zone out with and take a rest from this day if you have had enough of it .....

Hugs, hugs and more hugs ..... hearing you .... sitting with you .....

💜💜💜

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia - checking in to see how you are. Sorry to hear that it’s not a good day for you. Recognise it for what it is and allow it to pass. It will. Better times are ahead.

How is the painting of the door frames going? Must freshen up the look of your place.

I just listened to some some music I hadn’t heard for ages - at least ten years or more and I knew all the words. Amazing how the brain can pull out this stuff.

In response to: Re: HOME

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Hi @utopia

Hugs my friend. ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

Hello @utopia it sounds hard battling on several fronts at once. Feeling sorry for yourself is ok, particularly if you can do something self-care wise. I *still* (maybe always) struggle with taking care of myself. I'm really tired but don't feel like I can rest because there's stuff I should be doing. So I go slower and slower Do you remeber Anker? I saw a number plate with it on! Laughed and thought of you.

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

Some days are like that @utopia - there is often no rhyme or reason to it. You beging to question yourself and everything that you have achieved. You have done a lot this week - painting and housework and sometimes we do a little too much but don't realise it at the time. Now is simply a time to relax and let yourself rest - we all need that sometimes. Don't be too disheartened that you are feeling this way - it is a bump in the road and that road we all know has many bumps. That does not mean you are heading off the road - just that you have encountered a bump or two along the journey.

Hoping tomorrow is a little better for you my beautiful cocky friend.

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

Kind and helpful words my Forum Friends. Thank you.

Going to sleep for a while. ♥

In response to: Re: HOME

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@utopia 💓

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