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You had a slip yesterday @utopia - quite understandable under the circumstances - don't beat yourself up over it though - it happens and probably will again at some stage - it is how you proceed from today that is important. I don't think you were a bad mum at all - anyone would have reacted the same under the same circumstances - it does hit you where you are most vulnerable but the fact that he has apologised to you today shows that you have done a good job with your son. It is never an easy thing for a teenager to do to apologise and you are the one that has given him that strength and insight. Sometimes in the heat of the moment - as @Faith-and-Hope and @Teej have said - teenagers are all about themselves and do not understand fully how much their words can hurt - it is part of growing up and part of that is also recognising when you have hurt someone and atoning for that - as your son has done. That says to me that you are infact a good mum as you have instilled in him that level of compassion and understanding that comes out when he is less 'hormonal' and more able to look at the situation from all perspectives.

@BlueBay has just written in much more succinctly than I have @utopia

I don't want to keep punishing him or make him feel awful about himself. I hate that he might be hurting too.

But all I can feel is pain. I'm sad. I'm devastated. I hurt. It's hit me hard, that word he used.

My psychologist is overseas at the moment.

.... Don't know what else to say ...

Hugs @utopia ❤️❤️

Can you call the chat line @utopia ? It might help to talk about it and get past the anger stage before he is back at home, if you can.

💜

How are you going @utopia? Sorry I didn’t respond last night. I wanted to but felt like a complete hypocrite at the time as I was struggling so much too. Still am but wanted to write this while I came up for a gasp of air. Sometimes it’s so hard when we get lost in our heads.

Hi @utopia, wondering how you are today. I'm going mad from doing housework for our flat inspection tomorrow. Taking time out so here I am. Listening if you want to talk about anything. ox

@utopia

Like = here and listening @utopia ......

Can you chat online with Sane now ?

💜💜💜

@utopia I am very much struggling with lots of similar things to you. It doesn’t take much for me to find all the reasons to leave the planet.

Im so sorry you’ve had such a hard day reaching out. It just adds to it all when reaching out fails. You’ve done well not to already be up your mountain. I know you are working so hard to be here but equally hard not to be too. I might be wrong about you but that’s my current paradox.

Here and listening. 💜🤗