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How do I do this?

oneday64Contributor11 Aug 2017, 10:26 am AEST

How do I do this?

My wife is hospitalised again after her latest suicide attempt. For so many years she has battled with her illness of Borderline Personality Disorder. We share a beautiful loving relationship until some trigger sends her to the darkness again. Its a ongoing time bomb. I spent the day at the hospital learning about treatment this time around. Last week I got many phone calls at night from her - first call would be raging and 3 minutes later the next would be loving. This pattern kept going for 5 days and each night I'd ring the hospital and ask if they saw this behaviour. Calls have now stopped totally and I believe this is good so treatment can be given without distraction. Visiting is possible on Sunday for an hour but hosptial said yesterday that my wife has to give approval and so far she hasnt. I guess this is good to so the treatment can focus. What I'm worried about now is when she is discharged that she wil arrive home and I have no clarity on her treatment or what to do, what not to do. The hospital wont allow me to know anything. How do I prepare? Who can help me?

17 replies

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In response to: How do I do this?

Unknown userMember12 Aug 2017, 9:23 pm AEST

Re: How do I do this?

@oneday64

I don't know what to say but strongly believe DV is not acceptable. Getting professional help with people experienced in this is the best thing you can do.

Caring for someone with MI is draining and self care is essential. Irrespective of what happens you are going to need strength.

Darcy

In response to: Re: How do I do this?

oneday64Contributor12 Aug 2017, 9:27 pm AEST

Re: How do I do this?

i am desperate. The lack of commuincation on discharge means I need restrainig orders. She is small, but the viollence and rage is horrendous

In response to: How do I do this?

Unknown userMember12 Aug 2017, 9:57 pm AEST

Re: How do I do this?

@moderators
Are you able to help @oneday64?

In response to: How do I do this?

DeterminedSenior Contributor13 Aug 2017, 12:13 pm AEST

Re: How do I do this?

@oneday64
How are you holding up today?
Have you any feedback from the hospital adter your letter?
Thinking of you as you manage this current journey.

In response to: Re: How do I do this?

oneday64Contributor13 Aug 2017, 12:29 pm AEST

Re: How do I do this?

@Determined@Former-Member Hi, nothing back from hospital yet. I sent the email around 4.30pm yesterday so I guess it being the weekend I may not hear till Monday. Just trying to keep patient today. By sending the email I really did feel like I was empowering myself finally and at least getting a chance to reduce the anxiety.

We only just moved into this rental house after being evicted 4 weeks ago after she got in to a fight with the agent and owner. Police were involved and she wasnt allowed to contact the agent after her threats and so on.

So I dont know where she will go on discharge but I am going to insist she is supervised when she collects her belongings from here. Her family wont talk anymore but I think she will have to go and live with her elderly mother again.

She has no income but on morning of her admission she withdrew almost $35,000 from our joint account. Bank couldn't / wouldn't stop it because of joint account.

Tough journey

In response to: How do I do this?

Unknown userMember13 Aug 2017, 1:32 pm AEST

Re: How do I do this?

@oneday64
It sounds as though you have decided to end your relationship, you may need legal advice in relation to asset division and how to document and sort the withdrawn funds.
Darcy

In response to: Re: How do I do this?

DeterminedSenior Contributor15 Aug 2017, 11:29 am AEST

Re: How do I do this?

Hi @oneday64

Quick check in to see how you are travelling.
Trust things are a little clearer for you, have you heard back from the hospital?

My wife is currently back in hospital and while I have many issues with communication (or lack of) between hospital and Dr and myself I am very grateful for being able to visit her or talk on the phone. Dr and nursing staff do at least listen to my concerns when I have them.

When I had my darling admitted late on Sunday night staff let me stay well past visiting hours to see her settled in making the transition easier for both of us.

Thinking of you and your situation at the moment.

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