a bit about what has been happening

@lovemyboys Yeah i get that it would be hard

Feeling so sad for you both @lovemyboys@Ant7. I never knew the children I lost as they had not been born yet. Still I imagined them and wondered what sort of personalities they would have had, what they would have looked like.

I can't begin to think how hard it would be to lose a child who had become so much a part of your life. When our parents pass away which both of mine have (my mother just recently) you can justify that it was their time. Children are a whole different matter.

@lovemyboys - seems like your son made some unwise choices. I guess you can't help but think that maybe there was something you could have done but that thinking won't bring him back and won't help you move forward. He will always be in your heart and he isn't suffering anymore. It will take some more time to get through this debilitating way that you are feeling. Some days will be better than others. Now the issues with your other son are at play as well and that could very well compound how you feel.

I started on the carer's side too but find myself more on the lived experience side more now. It's okay to flit around a bit. We will find you and offer you comfort and empathy as much as we can and be there to hold your hand or just sit with you when you need it.

Sending you love and light and soon again some laughter.

I'm so sorry to hear that your son passed away @Ant7

sending you hugs @lovemyboys

@soul, I can`t have children , I would of love to have had some , but then i became a step mum for 4 children

Yes I started on the carers as my husband has MI , and then my Husband wanted me to ask some qiestions on here , so here i am and i am also here as i was mentally abused when growing up , i have also had depression an epsilipy

You did what you could at the time @lovemyboys. The outcome makes you think otherwise. Whenever faced by such a huge tragedy, it's normal to have these tormenting thoughts. So many regrets and what ifs. The guilt, the shame, the sadness.

At the end of the day, you can't change the past. You have to make the most of the present trying to put one foot in front of each other and hopefully build a brighter future.

Really feeling for you and hoping you can one day find peace within yourself.

Of course he will @lovemyboys. That can never change.

And yes, families lives are irrevocably changed in circumstances like that. Very sad. The scourge of drugs - it's a horrible, horrible thing.