not coping

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@outlander wrote:
@Jynx some of the thoughts seem like truths

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And they feel like truths that can't be denied I imagine... But they don't have to be. I'm only speaking from my own experiences (and of course everyone's recovery journey is different), but for me it really helped learning how to take a step back from my thoughts. To observe them, and realise that I am both thinker and observer. Then realise that I can also choose not to identify with them, because they aren't always aligned with my true self.

I feel like I've rambled on a bit but I discovered that this is called metacognition; it's been a super helpful skill for me to learn. I think it's also something that is part of Mentalisation-Based Therapy if you wanted to look into it at all.

@outlander

Success and fail are often unhelpful ways of looking at things. Often its just Foot on the Floor ... and out the door ... or whatever you have to do, and gentle with self.

Hugs

Give success/fail the flick

The billy is boiling @outlander @Appleblossom

hot cuppa coming soon

The day is nearly over and “Tomorrow has no mistakes in it..yet” @Jynx

Sorry to hear it hasn't really worked for you, though I echo what @Appleblossom said: like any new skill it takes practice. I'm definitely not saying "oh you just didn't try hard enough", cos it is super hard when our lives have been spent in survival-mode and our brains become wired that way. You gotta find what works for you, and sometimes things won't work in one stage of recovery but will become essential at another (and I gotta say I still struggle with it at times and my thoughts will run rampant ).

You're an incredibly kind and caring person @outlander, and I believe you will be able to learn and grow to a better place

@outlander

I think it has been very hard for many people to carve out a life, even though many say we are in the lucky country. Toughness has made people to be harsh in the way they speak and think about things.

Does anyone you know do equine therapy or is mainly shows? Just that you have so much sensitivity, might be a good outlet.

Hey @Eve7 @Jynx

You have such high expectations of yourself. @outlander

What about all the people agist their horses and only see them the odd weekend.

You have had so many things going on with your own health and pop and kids. We need to see through the perfect people im ages that are around everywhere. They are fibs, mirages, one cannot measure oneself against an airbrushed life. Put the kindness you put outwards ... on to yourself.