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not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

18135 replies

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In response to: not coping

Eve7Senior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 7:46 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Hi @outlander

Sending lots of love to you this evening.

I have a cuppa ready and gluten free brownies to share with you and @Emelia8

💙💜💙

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 7:54 pm AEST

Re: not coping

thank you @Eve7

had a few hrs of a bit better headache today (more of an ache then a pain) because of constant pain meds but its all sinking in again now even with meds so will be going to bed soon i think.

In response to: Re: not coping

Eve7Senior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 8:06 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Good idea @outlander

may your dreams be pleasant.my precious friend.

💙💜💙

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 8:08 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@Eve7 how are you? Im sorry i havent been around as much as i really want to be

In response to: Re: not coping

Emelia8Senior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 8:10 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Ohhhhh yummm @Eve7

Not long finished dinner, so to finish off with some brownie and cup of tea sounds perfect. :ok_hand:🍫🌺

I read your Worry Room post Eve. 😒 Really sorry you were not treated with more compassion. How are you feeling this evening?

How are you today @outlander ?

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Re: not coping

Eve7Senior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 8:18 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I think you are doing the right thing by resting @outlander as it appears (to me) that your concussion was quite serious.

My day started ok then I started stressing about returning to work and slipped up with sh again.

I am more settled now but I do feel quite ashamed. Enough said.

its good to havebyou here nowbif only for a brief visit.

In response to: Re: not coping

Eve7Senior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 8:23 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Thank you so much for being around today @Emelia8 as your support helped my loneliness in a shameful situation.

How are you?

❤️❤️❤️

In response to: Re: not coping

Emelia8Senior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 8:38 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I'm glad I was around for you @Eve7 even though I could do nothing. I do not see your slip-up as being shameful at all, even if those who tended to you may have made you feel that way. It breaks my heart that you are in so much pain that you feel you need to harm yourself. Its such a difficult position for you to be in. A cycle which somehow needs to be broken. I wish there was something I could say.

I am feeling somewhat emotionally spent after having updated my trauma thread this arvo. Perhaps an early night is on the cards for me tonight.

Emelia 💓🌻💜

In response to: Re: not coping

Eve7Senior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 8:44 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I am here for you also @Emelia8 and I can appreciate how much emotional energy was involved in making that update.

Please be kind to yourself tonight as (selfishly) I really want to see you on the forums tomorrow...so watch this space my dear friend.

💙🧡💙

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Sept 2020, 9:34 pm AEST

Re: not coping

good to see you @Emelia8 im sos sorry about everything youve had to manage and even worse that you felt u had to stay away too. im glad you back now though.

i am honestly not much better. im so tired and headachy atm. i either sleep and forget im asleep and wake in a panic or i just dont sleep. to hard to sleep with a crushing feeling inside your head i guess...

@Eve7 yeah ive been resting. i still have the rest of this week off except sunday to do one other horses besides my own but even my own horses are only getting seen to every second day atm.

im sorry about the sh. i get the feelings that come with that including the shame,embarrassment and guilt and everything that usually comes with it to. . its unfrotunatly the place your brain went during a time of distress. all you could think was a way to try and stop all the overpowering emotions. ive been there more times then i would care to admit.

struggling abit atm. hard to try and deal with pains and its unrelenting. pain meds often dont work. just so tired even though ive done nothing except 2 loads of washing today. hard to sleep with pain. but hard to stay awake too. its abit of a mess atm.

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