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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

Sans911Senior Contributor

Re: not coping

You will NEVER loose myself, @Snowie or anyone else here @outlander. We simply wouldn't let it happen.

And it's OK to pull back from your CG roles and duties for a little while. You always give so much of yourself to so many people, where is the time for you? Just for you without anyone calling on you for something?

There are many CGs now lil Sis, so it's OK to take a break for a bit. Isn't it one of the requirements of being a CG that you recognise when you need to take care of yourself?

And although I know you aren't keen on it, can I strongly suggest you get some counselling or call a hotline every few days. You don't have to shoulders all these burdens alone. And you shouldn't either.

If you don't take time out for yourself Hun then you make yourself more ill, to the point of collapse. I would hate to see that happen, and I'm sure it's not something that you want either. Or you could risk having an accident in your car.

Im seriously worried about you outlander. But there nothing practically I can do, although would if I could. But you'll always have my eyes to listen, and my heart is full of love and care about you.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@Sans911 💜

Yeah it is one of the requirements and ive stepped back alot and just have been doing smaller things here and there. It just feels hard to do and brings out even more disconnected feelings but its probably better then putting more pressure on myself then what's even required.

Im trying to find time to do something each day for myself but its so much effort.crochetting or colouring in or going for a walk just seems to take up my energy even things like watching a movie or having a bath.
I am sleeping a little more but often wake up feeling like ive run a marathon. I have a lot of catching up on sleep to do though.


I speak with the counsellor every week when i can. So far its been weekly but i wont be able to this week cause of commitments. I can speak with another counsellor in the daytime if i have time but it feels like talking about the same things. Its part of the reason i stopped in the first place. I still talk to her though and my nurse every 3 weeks too now that shes back from leave.

Thank you for being here.

In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Not really too good atm @Lee82 🙁

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Its probably not really helping that today/days is an anniversary of one of the more traumatic hospital admission and an attempt as well

In response to: Re: not coping

Sans911Senior Contributor

Re: not coping

It doesn't matter if its the same thing to talk about every week @outlander. It's sharing the load of what's happening for you.

I used to do the same thing with a counsellor. I felt like I was constantly stuck on the same track. Eventually I got unstuck.

That's just where you are at right now. And yes, stepping back a little will feel strange because you always put others first. So it feels unnatural and uncomfortable. But right now, you must try to put more you time.

You don't necessarily have to do something every day. If it's too much effort just go take a rest. A cup of tea. Don't shower every day if you don't need to. Just have a top and tail wash.

And certainlytthe poor diet and sleep deprivation is also adding in to the exhaustion and disconnect.

In response to: Re: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander wrote:
Its probably not really helping that today/days is an anniversary of one of the more traumatic hospital admission and an attempt as well

Oh no...very sorry to hear this @outlander . That would make things even harder.

I was glad to read you're getting a little more sleep...although it sounds like it's not refreshing you at all. 😞

I agree with @Sans911 that stepping back from your CG responsibilities might be a good idea at the moment. I'm worried about a collapse too, for you...

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

You will never lose me @outlander

@Sans911 💛💜💚💙

In response to: Re: not coping

Unknown userMember

Re: not coping

Good morning little one, I hope you are kind and gentle with yourself today. I wish there was something more I could do you for you to really ease the pressure off those young shoulders of yours. But you have had one of the best supporters here helping you, supporting you and giving you advice and there is nothing that I could say that @Sans911 hasn't already said to you. Please look after yourself and take timeout from here if that will help you.

Sending you all my love and gentle hugs if wanted or just my hand to hold for a while @outlander

In response to: Re: not coping

Sans911Senior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander - gentle hugs for you today. 💖💖💖💖

In response to: Re: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

@outlander I'm wondering if the gastroenterologist's office got back to you with a surgery date today?

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