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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor01 Aug 2025, 6:27 pm AEST

Re: not coping

not really @Snowie but ill be in hospital for a few weeks soon so hoping it helps

that would be nice @Appleblossom its a lonley corner of the world im in right now

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor01 Aug 2025, 6:53 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Not that I want to hear that you will be in hospital @outlander but hopefully it can help you.

We are all here for you hon 💗💗💗

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor01 Aug 2025, 9:32 pm AEST

Re: not coping

thanks @Snowie but really im just a big burden

In response to: Re: not coping

JynxModerator01 Aug 2025, 10:03 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Hey @outlander I am sorry that you feel burdensome hun. I am about to hop off but wanted to just stop by and say that even if you feel like a burden, I promise you're not. You deserve care and support as much as anyone, no matter how intense and heavy your feelings are 💜

Sending some hugs, and maybe we can chat tomorrow if you're up for it - just tag me 😉

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

In response to: Re: not coping

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 Aug 2025, 8:30 am AEST

Re: not coping

@outlander

You have had so much physical issues to deal with, yet you keep showing up for others like pop, your clients, the forums and horses…. You have the right to take up the space you NEED. Please honour your rights. Breathe deeply into your inner cave and draw on your unique resources and I pray you will find sufficient strength.

❤️🦋🌹🥑🐝🦄💃

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Aug 2025, 2:37 pm AEST

Re: not coping

thank you @Jynx @Appleblossom for the care
im in a really dark place at the moment with hallucinations mixed with the deep depressive state. pain isnt helping at all mixed with the flu too.
im in the last few days of work now so just trying to attend before i have some days off. ive reduced the amount of work so its a little more manageable but every day every minute is a struggle

In response to: Re: not coping

JynxModerator02 Aug 2025, 4:48 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@outlander oh hun that is sooo much to be carrying! I bet the flu would be making everything else that much harder, too. Are the hallucinations new? Part of the flu? That's so rough 🥺

What helps you get through the work day hun? Time off soon, phew!

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Aug 2025, 4:58 pm AEST

Re: not coping

no @Jynx the hallucinations arent new. ive had them for quite some time they just get worse during intense periods of stress, specific triggers, fatigue sometimes. i have times where i have short psychosis periods as well i just didnt know thats what they were till more recently.

i just have longer breaks and shorter shifts with clients so its not as straining most of the time. ive stopped doing as many nights which are better for me but at the moment my fatigue isnt letting me stay awake like i normally would so i work longer day hours.

ive had to adjust alot atm because of my own disabilities. have to go to hospital for a few weeks so have been working extra hard to pay for my rent etc more in advance and bills and hospital fees etc

In response to: Re: not coping

JynxModerator02 Aug 2025, 5:19 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Ahh, gotcha @outlander apologies if I've forgotten or perhaps we simply haven't spoken about that before. But yeah something that I learned about psychosis is that no matter how much we know the experience isn't real, the emotional experience very much is - that would be utterly exhausting.

Feels like the last big push before the hilltop eh? I hope hospital feels like a relief 🤞💜

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Aug 2025, 5:34 pm AEST

Re: not coping

no its ok @Jynx its not really something i speak about to often. it is overwhelming and exhausting when it does happen or when the hallucinations are bothersome. i get hallucinations every day but sometimes theyre enough to just bug me rather then fully affect me as ive been able to recognise what it is sometimes.

yes ive only got 5 more working days then having a few days off to prepare for hospital and then being admitted so just have to get through the next few days.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.