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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

no @tyme its not worth it. its not really the first time. i really am only around people that need me. seems to be the only way to be around other people then being by myself all the time.
it doesnt matter how i act, respond, be avaliable to people it never matters. it just keeps being proven that maybe i am better off alone.
even those i paid to support me didnt seem to really want to be around me either

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

i feel alone @tyme
i joined up to try and be apart of something but i just feel more alone then i did before

In response to: Re: not coping

tymeModerator

Re: not coping

Sure sounds tough @outlander . Sounds so unfair too. What do you think it is? That is, why do you think it happens? (No need to answer. This is for self reflection.).

To me, you have such a large heart and you are willing to help anyone. I don't understand it either.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

im just not a good person @tyme im not good to be around. toxic i guess.
ive tried and tried. i do everything to try and improve how i am, my social skills, attitude everything but it never seems to help in any case.
i tried groups for young people, didnt fit in. tried joining a horse club, didnt fit in. this is the second volunteering group ive tried that have some slightly older people like later 30s-50s so some around my age plus some older and i still failed.

In response to: Re: not coping

tymeModerator

Re: not coping

Rather than 'fail', I wonder if it's just that you havent' found your place yet? @outlander It doesn't mean you won't.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

i wont ever find a place @tyme its just me.
its always been like it even as a kid.

In response to: Re: not coping

JynxModerator

Re: not coping

@outlander I just wanted to stop by and offer a lil hug, hope tonight has been easier on you 💜

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Thanks @Jynx but no
I think I’ll be heading to bed soon. I have a double shift tomorrow

In response to: Re: not coping

JynxModerator

Re: not coping

Appreciate the honesty @outlander and sorry to hear that. Extra hugs, all yours, coming in hot. Hope you have a restful night 💜

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: not coping

Thanks @Jynx my night was ok. I’ve taken to sleeping on the lounge since I’ve been on my own. Doesn’t feel the same in the house. At least in the loungeroom I have 2 of my pets and even though they don’t talk at least they’re living beings I guess
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