Thanks everyone for the ongoing support. I dont want to tag anyone because I dont want to leave anyone out.
The past few days have been hard and very dark, ive been struggling to keep safe and still managing the blasted demon. I wont go over everything just causes theres so much but not all can be said here anyway.
So going back to my gp appointment. Honestly I dont know what to think atm. The blood test come back clear for H.Pylori so ive never had it and dont have it now. Its ruled out the cause of the issues im having atm. He WONT run a MRI scan even though I said I would be ok with that and it would be cheaper to get an mri then go to a specialist. Nope doesnt agree with that.
He has refferred me to a hepatologist/ gastroenterologist. Medicare covers some of it but its a huge expense. One im not going to be able to afford so basically feels like im going to be stuck with this now.
The initial appointment gap fee is 100 thats not to bad but endoscopy and all other tests arent under medicare for this and his prices range from $1500-$4000 depending on the procedure. That isnt including hospital costs. My health insurance doesnt cover this until next year even if I paid a years worth now. Ive asked about payment plans- the hospital does zippay but apparently I just got declined so im skrewed. The specialist required the payment upfront. The gp doesnt know anyone in the public health system cause I rang him today too and said this was my best option. Ive been searching my heart out for someonein the public system that doesnt have huge wait lists and im not finding any. Im waiting on 2 more emails to be returned but im susupecting its probably the same answer as the last ones.
Ive resorted to having to look at larger loans and contacting banks now to see if I might qualify for a persoal loan. Its actually giving me panic attacks now. I cant tell anyone offline yet either. Im to scared to tell mum and I dont want to worry everyone if this turns out to be nothing. Im guessing im going to have to tell them at some point but I cant yet.
Im so tossed on what to do. The gp thinks it does need further investigations and im constantly reminded that I need to be checked out. Even eating something tonight almost made me crumble over in pain and its a regular thing. I cant be imaginging this. I cant sleep and when I do its not restful then when I wake up I worry im going to be sick. Ive actually put vomit bags next to the bed. Ive not had to use them but when it comes on so strong I worry if it comes up I wont make it to the bathroom.
The gp keeps saying I should be speaking with a psychologist and going on medications. He will love what the pdoc has to say then cause he wants me back onto medications as well.
My supports are dissppearing as well. My gp up and left, my nurse has had to take long service leave because of covid-19 so now I dont have her support. I just cant go back to a psychologist. It makes things worse and the more I go the more anxious I get so its doing more harm then good atm. Abit stuck on what to do for this.
Yesterday I was involved in a car accident. It was my own stupid fault and im very lucky that no one was hurt. I come up over the hill (very bad blind spot area) and the cars were stopping quite quickly but the sun was in my eyes as well. Apparently the guy in front of me had the same thing and nearly hit the car in front of him as well. I wasnt paying attention though. My wheels made a mark on the road and had some smoke thats how hard I had to break very quickly. I hit the car in front who also nudged the car in front of me. Thank god no one was hurt and he cars werent damaged so was happy to let it go. Ive had abit of a headache since then but im fairly sure that its from the neck injury I had previously thats flared up cause it wasnt hard enough to do any damage. Plus stress and tension isnt helping much.
My pops behaviours are becoming increasingly challanging and whilse im actually terrified of this meeting coming up on tuesday I know it needs to be done and I could honestly use the support from the aged care system atm without having to fork out hundreds in private care which I cannot afford.
Last night it was pretty bad. He was throwing his phone and other thngs in the bin because his brother didnt call in within 5 minutes of me asking him (the brother) to him (pop) so he flipped out.
Its such a learning curve all the time, im having to adapt very quickly but im not sure thats happening enough. I think I may be rather burnt out so I hope some good comes of the meeting.
So sorry for such a long post just kinda needed to get it out abit, thank you to anyone who has read this.
